I don't see a way out of my life's impasse
I am 35 years old. I am currently on maternity leave with my baby; before that I worked as a manager. The work is quite responsible and required maximum effort, so when I came home, all I had time to do was cook, wash and clean.
I have always tried to pay attention to my eldest daughter, but apparently not enough. Now she is 10 years old, she doesn’t want to study, she doesn’t want to help around the house, she’s constantly rude. She screams that I tired her, that she hates me. He constantly sits with his nose to the computer, plays something and watches TV series. He can sit next to me, and when I ask him to bring me a pacifier or drink water, he pretends that he doesn’t hear me. When I ask five times and see that there is no reaction, I start screaming, sometimes (very rarely) I can hit. At the same time, she screams that she doesn’t care about me, that I’m a psychopath and I’m beating her, unhappy and defenseless. God, I'm going crazy.
It seems like I tried everything to establish contact with my daughter. She did everything herself, was silent, was affectionate with her and tried to encourage her with gifts, test-antibiotic.com talked to her about help, support and respect. The result is zero. My own childhood was very difficult. In all senses. I once swore that I would do everything for my child to make her happy. Outfits, toys, gadgets, hairstyles for the holidays to make you look the best. Whenever I could, I walked with her and chatted about everything. I always asked my daughter how she was doing at school. I tried to participate in her life. Everything was fine.
Now in my life there are constant her hysterics, disobedience and hatred towards me. I do not know what to do. It’s even worse with my husband: he drinks, hangs around all the time and indulges in weed. I have nowhere to go with my two children; I have no relatives on whom I could rely. Such despair, apathy and a feeling of hopelessness often overwhelms. I couldn't make minelife is worthy, I can’t educateMy daughter is a good, sensitive person, I can’t cope with my husband. What should I do, why should I live? I have no life guidelines left, no faith in myself, and I don’t see a way out of this impasse.
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