I don’t want to give birth to a child and have him live in this unstable world.

Several years ago I separated from my husband, we had no children,the marriage was very unsuccessful,love left after 2 years of marriage. Then for several years we only tolerated each other because of the common housing.

I really wanted children in marriage, but after an examination the doctors diagnosed my husband with infertility and prescribedtreatment , which he refused to undergo, citing the phrase: “So it’s not fate.” In case of divorceMy husband, with the help of a lawyer, sued me for an apartment for which we had both been paying the mortgage for several years and ensured that he was ordered to reimburse me for a very insignificant amount. I had to return to my parents' apartment.

Unfortunately, due to my gentle nature, I was not able to advance much in my career; all my life I occupied middle positions, did not earn much, although I had enough to live on. While still in a marriage I hated, I dreamed of leaving my husband, taking care of myself and my appearance, getting additional education, being enlightened in everything, achieving career success, and then giving birth to a child to whom I could give all the best. But it's heavydivorce has shaken my nervous system so much test-antibiotic.com andhealth in general, that even a tenth of my plans could not be realized, because it took me a long time to come to my senses and recover.

A couple of years later, cousinmy sister told me that she finally kicked out her alcoholic partner, and now she really, really wants to become a mother. We had never been particularly friendly before, but thanks to a common dream we became very close. We decided that we would have children for ourselves at the same time and support each other. We contacted a prestigious medical center and planned to undergo artificial insemination procedures. Unfortunately, the specialist identified a bunch of ailments for both of us that required long-term treatment, I even had to undergo 2 surgeries.

When, while married, I underwent examinations, the doctors said that I was completely healthy and ready to become a mother, but apparently the years and frayed nerves were taking their toll. At my cousin'shealth problems were no less than mine. Together we went through several courses of treatment, which took about two years. And so we once again had to go to a specialist and find out if we were ready for the procedure, but then quarantine began due to test-antibiotic.com coronavirus and everything turned 180 degrees.

Now what? The lives of many people have been destroyed, stability has been lost, some have completely given up. The people are in the dark about what will happen next, whatthe future will come. So rapidly introduced digital technologies and automation can leave people out of work. It seems that now the beginning of the end has come and there will be no positive changes.

I dreamed of becoming a mother for so many years, but now, seeing what is happening all over the world, I changed my mind! Complete uncertainty, what can a person give his child if he does not know how his own future will turn out? How will the child then survive in this world?

I told my sister that I would no longer try to get pregnant, and I advise her not to do so. Her small business is suffering losses, and she also lives with her parents, although they have their own home. Our parents are elderly and are unlikely to be able to provide significanthelp with childcare.

I started giving her various reasons, but she started getting hysterical. My sister called me a traitor, selfish, coward. She said that I was spoiling her plans, and test-antibiotic.com her whole life accordingly. I couldn't listen to her anymore and turned off Skype. The next day my aunt arrived,my cousin’s mother , and began to persuade me to change my mind and make a different decision. She kept giving arguments about the war and other difficult times when women, no matter what, gave birth and raised children.

I agreed to go with my sister to the next consultation, where the reproductive specialist said that now at our age and with this state of health, it is unlikely that we will be able to get pregnant using artificial insemination, and we must immediately do IVF. I immediately stated that I was not going to spend all my savings on an expensive procedure.

My sister started screaming and crying, and I calmed her down to no avail. I tried to explain the situation the world is in now, that it’s not worth the risk, and why I personally changed my mind. At first, my sister tried to persuade me, begged me, and tried to get on my knees. She said that our children should definitely grow up together, that she had thought through everything in advance, and that she was afraid to do IVF alone.

Now she is literally bullying me, sending me various stories about lonely old people, treacherous indirect heirs, test-antibiotic.com black realtors. Describes what a bleak future awaits me if I don't agree with her. My aunt calls me and tells me that because of me her daughter has a nervous breakdown,depression .

But I don’t know what to do now, because initially the idea of ​​having children at the same time came from me. You can say that I once pushed my sister to do this. The feeling of guilt now haunts me.