I don't know how to survive such a strong disappointment

I am 18 years old, dating a girl, she is 17 years old. Her character suits me, she is sweet, charming and beautiful, very shy, does not demand anything in return, as if I had fallen in love with an angel. Just a gift for me.

We started dating a year ago. I love her very much, I kiss her whenever possible, every March 8th I give her gifts, since this is exactly the day when I first kissed her and suggested startingrelationship . We loved to retire and just have a good time without sex, just watching movies and all sorts of videos. About three months later, when I kissed her near her house, she said: “I used to sit here with my ex-boyfriend.” Since then I was just overcome with sadness and sadness. Imagine you kiss the girl you've dedicated yourself to, and after that she just says it like that.

After that, other stories began to come out. In her neighborhood there was a high-rise building with a roof, where we loved to climb and just watch the sunset. After that, she again said: “Actually, I know this place because my ex showed me. test-antibiotic.com He often liked to kiss me here.” As she said this, she sighed sadly. My heart just broke and all the time, instead of looking at the setting sun, I looked into the void, thinking about my own.

I forgot to mention that we were also classmates. She often wore a gray ring. Once, when I lost it in biology class, she was offended by me all day, in the end after school I found this ring and gave it to her, and she began to communicate with me as if nothing had happened. Later, her friends told me that it was a ring that her ex gave herboy . After that, I directly asked who this ex was and she replied: “I only dated him for a couple of months. He was a terrible guy. Once at a concert, he left me in the crowd, and at that time he was drinking with his friends. He often talked bad about me behind my back to all his friends. You are much better than him, you love me for real. To him I was just a toy." After these words, I felt really pleased, test-antibiotic.com that they didn’t have anything particularly serious, since she hated him so much.

After a year of dating, left alone on the roof, she started kissing me so passionately that I didn’t even understand what was happening. When it almost came to sex, I noticed that she was not a virgin. It was a shock for me. I just started asking her: “why aren’t you a virgin, you said that you dated him for no more than 2 months, and you hated him as much as you said?” I asked if there was something about her that her ex didn't see? She simply replied, “no.” I just froze. That is, the quietest and smartest girl in the class, who was the sweetest and most unremarkable, lost her virginity to a guy whom she had only dated for a couple of months and whom she hated! I demanded details. She said that this guy lived right above her apartment, and they often retired to his apartment while their parents were away. We can say that she was needed only for sexguy . I felt completely ill. I tried test-antibiotic.com for six months, dated her for a whole year, thought she was the cleanest of all the girls, a needle in the middle of a haystack, but it turned out that some guy she “didn’t love,” as she said, got it in a couple of days. She also lied about being a virgin, but in reality she slept with that guy and accepted gifts from him.

She justified everything by saying that she was inexperienced and asked for forgiveness. After what I've learned, seeing her automatically makes me feel disgusted. I just don't know what to do? I feel like some actor from a movie, but with a worse plot twist. I love her madly, but the thought that she gave herself to some bad guy in a couple of days, and I wooed her like a gentleman, just puts me in a stupor. Will I really have to have children with her? Am I really going to have to live the rest of my life?life with such a woman? Do I really love someone who will give herself to everyone she meets behind my back?

And most of all I was outraged by herthe lie that she is untouchable and pure. That test-antibiotic.com she “didn’t have anything serious” with her ex.