Uncertainty about a guy before the wedding

It takes me a long time to make decisions; it’s difficult even to choose shoes, for example. So I dated a guy for 5 years, we live together for 3 years, then I’m with him, then he comes to me.

At the beginning of the relationship, I had the feeling that I had finally met a modern person and my person. After 1.5 years I wondered why he didn’t callmarried _ At first I hinted, then I realized that he was ignoring my hints, saying that he wants to marry me, but not now. A year later, I directly proposed marriage several times. She didn’t get down on her knee, but she suggested it, and he changed the topic.

Recently I said that since he does not intend to get married, we are breaking up, and I began to live separately. I'm tuned inforget him for fooling me. I started communicating by correspondence with a man from the USA. We have known him on the Internet for a long time, we corresponded 6 years ago, then he once sent me an indecent photo of himself, I began to ignore him, and said that it was unpleasant for me to see this.

I started dating my boyfriend and forgot about everyone. Then again Mike wrote to me something, proposed test-antibiotic.com marriage, although our conversations did not lead to this, consisted of hello and bye, asked to send a photo, I did not send it, he was offended, period. So again and again, he wrote to me hello, said that he was ready to come, but then I already told him that I havethe guy and we are just friends, he was offended, although I didn’t promise anything. In the end, I ignored him, although he found me in my other networks, I answered as a friend, but it all came down to “send me a photo,” I refused, period.

So, when I decided that it was time for me to forget my boyfriend, I answered the American, probably to get distracted, flirted, he said that he was ready to come to me and when, but then he returnedmy boyfriend proposed to me, I agreed. Now the wedding is planned for the fall, but my head is a mess, I’m completely confused and don’t know what I want.

Help me understand myself, I’m not able to. I seem to love my fiancé, but due to the fact that he did not propose to me for a long time and made it test-antibiotic.com after the ultimatum, I have a bad feeling, it seems that he loves me especially. And when I parted with him, I got into such a mood that he wasn’t worth me, I described his disadvantages to myself, and now I don’t even know if he’s that good. She also confessed her love to the American in correspondence, and now her conscience is also gnawing at her. Besides hedoctor , parents seem decent.

Among other things, my doubts began when I agreed to move in with him. He lives with his mother, sister, and grandfather. HisMom goes to work from time to timebinge . He comes and destroys everything at home. We don’t have money for our own housing, and to earn it, we can only live like this. My parents are in another city, my mother is a doctor,my father is a pensioner, it’s not they who should help me, but me. Sorry for the confusion, I really need to understand at least something, I’m like in a dream. I'm afraid to make a mistake.