I really hope that my son will not grow up like his father and grandfather.

I’ll start with a story from childhood; it has something in common with my adult life.

Mythe father is a terrible abuser, or as they used to call it, a domestic tyrant. He humiliated and insulted my mother and my brother and me. He drank a lot and was not involved in our upbringing. We were very afraid of him then. He kicked me out of the house often. In front of his brother he shot the dog. In front of my eyes, he put a gun to my mother’s head and asked me if I wanted to see him shoot my mother?

This was my childhood, eternal fear, for myself, for my mother. I dreamed of growing up, leaving and taking her with me. Time passed, I left to study in the city. My father calmed down a little, I calmed down. Of course, he stopped drinking. But to humiliate my mother with words, no. He didn’t help me or my brother in any way.

And now the time has come for me to go outmarried ​It seemed that I had found what I thought was a good guy. The main thing is that he is Orthodox, a believer in God and from a large family. Where, in my deep conviction, everyone should support, listen and help each other. She left, but the joy of marriage did not come. There were reproaches, insults, and reproaches about test-antibiotic.com food. Everything is different depending on how much I sleep and how much I work.

Went on maternity leave, was bornson , I thought everything would definitely be fine here. A year after birth I find out thatMy husband cheated from the very beginning of the marriage and still communicates with his ex. I asked for forgiveness, I forgave. It gets worse, he quits his job. Doesn't make any money. Accordingly, it does not help with the child, even in education.

Takes custody of his younger brother (he has Down syndrome). And he spends all his time with his parents. But at the same time, he manages to humiliate and beat me. OnWhen asked why he is doing this to me, he answers: “She must completely obey me and be like a dog. Obey completely." His parents support him.

I'm so tired of thisrelationship thatI have panic attacks every day . Suitable for tears and hysterics, which I try not to show to anyone. I can't go to work. The child is small, I can’t go to my parents either, my father is no betterwill ruin my husband . I really want to believe that in such a relationship my son will not grow up to be an abuser, and I will not go crazy.