Loneliness and resentment towards your ex-husband

I'm 20 years old, I left earlymarried ​Eatson , he is 3 years old, I love him very much. In my last year at school I gave up everything and got married, at first everything was fine, I liked my familylife .

After a few months of living togethermy husband stopped spending the night at home, he didn’t even hide from me (and from everyone) that he had someone else. I tried to fix itrelationship , forgave her a couple of times, even when he said that it was all over with her.

After the birth of his son, he completely cooled down, began to hint that I should leave, even in front of me he once said that his friends adviseddo not register the marriage , since getting a divorce will be difficult and alimony will then have to be paid.

I spent about a month in depression. There was no one to tell, my friends at that time did not understand me and stopped communicating, and I could not turn to my parents, since I made my own choice. I was consumed by resentment from within.

And then somehow I tried to contact his lover. I couldn’t speak myself, I knew that amid all the stress I would burst into tears, so I asked his sister about it. She test-antibiotic.com started the conversation calmly and said that she would meet with him, because they had met before our marriage. I can’t express the feelings I felt waking up every morning in bed, looking at my sleeping son and dreaming of packing my things and leaving, taking the child. But there was nowhere to go, and I endured, torn from within, when every evening they called each other and he went to her.

On March 8th I didn’t congratulate you or even kiss you. It was very disappointing and there was no one to tell. I used to sit and talk to my sleeping child at night. By the way, he understood me, I am sure of this, every time a wave of resentment came over me, and I could not hold back my tears, he touched me and it became so easy because I had my little man who understood me. There was such a lack of understanding on the part of loved ones then, but there was no one nearby.

On the material side, not everything was smooth either - the husband spent all his income onthe love of his life and his friends. The child had two rompers and a pair of baby vests; we couldn’t even dream of test-antibiotic.com diapers. The whole day was spent doing laundry, fortunately the weather that spring was warm, the clothes dried very quickly. I have never complained to my parents and never will.

One night, as usual, I sat and waited.husband , even knowing that he wouldn’t show up that night either, but she hoped (she was so naive). I received a text message from her, a lump stuck in my throat, I had difficulty opening it, the following was written there: “You don’t have to hope, he won’t be with you anymore because... you are a loser, you don’t even have a secondary education (I studied in college by correspondence), and I, thank God, am studying on a state grant, everything is going my way, and you just sit at home.” I didn’t even have the strength to be angry, I was completely black with resentment - what did I do to her? But from that moment I changed dramatically. I realized that I was really too naive, I promised that as soon as the opportunity arose, I would leave, arrange my life in such a way that he would not recognize me.

One day I went to visit my mom and dad. Looking at meMom apparently understood, test-antibiotic.com that I was suffering. After a couple of days, she said that she would accept if I no longer wanted to live with him, but this should be my final decision. I was in seventh heaven. By the way, my mother never forgave me, but my parents adore my son. Apparently, my husband was only glad that I left, because he didn’t call me once in a whole year, not on any holidays, even onson's birthday .

I didn’t communicate with anyone from his circle, but I took a closer look at myself. By the time my son was one year old, I was finishing my studies at college, and the bank accepted me for an internship. When the practice time ended, I was asked to stay and continue working, which I was very happy about. After a year of hard work and promotion, I became the head of the department.

And here underNew Year he showed up at my work and asked me to discuss everything in the evening. I sent him openly and very calmly, he replied that he was very disappointed in me, because I turned out to have a heart of stone. Does he really not even suspect that he made me this way? Since the breakup test-antibiotic.com there has been no desire to build a relationship, I haven’t dated anyone, it seems that they are all the same. FormerEvery day he calls and writes SMS saying that he is very sorry that he was wrong. My resentment melted over time, now I feel outright indifference towards him. From friends I learned that the same beloved one left him and got married. His friends (the same ones who offered to divorce) also tried to contact me.

I think he is as lonely now as I once was. Honestly, I'm glad that he managed to feel everything for himself.

After leaving him, I knew that nothing connected us anymore. If he doesn’t want to pay alimony, please. I still remember the day when I calmly wrote a renunciation of paternity at the notary, since then we have been strangers. Now he wants to come back, but I can never have himforgive . Now I am confident in myself, by the way, I was promoted again (I’m very proud of myself, but I still have no one to share with, I stopped trusting people completely).

Looking back, I understand: test-antibiotic.com everything that happens in our lives is all for the better. You just need to move forward towards the goal. And that onethe pain that a person inflicts on someone will return to him. Thank you for reading my story, I really want to tell you about my resentment, which still remains a black spot on my heart.