My father ruined my whole life

I am 16 years old, I passed all the exams and finished 10th grade. I want to talk about my unstable normal state, I often have psychoses and periods when I hate everyone who is near me. It happens that a person is just sitting next to me or drinking tea or saying something and I want him to leave. I am constantly plagued by panic attacks and anxiety, even when everything seems fine.

Don't think that I'm a stupid little girl who's crazy about fat. No, that's not true. Many events happened in my life that influenced the formation of my psyche. I have been living with my mother and brother (8 years old) for 6 years now; my parents divorced after living together for 10 years.

I was born in Crimea, despite the fact that we lived very poorly, I never felt worse than others, I was a cheerful and lively child. Mom and Dad weren’t quarreling yet, and everything was fine. From the age of 4 I was sent to study piano and vocals, I was good at it, I was an excellent student. I also went to test-antibiotic.com art school and dance. Mom infringed on herself in many ways in order to give me a good education. When I was in 3rd grade, I really asked for a brother and sohis mother gave birth to him. My happiness knew no bounds. But it was then that my, our world, came out of orbit.

My father abandoned us, explaining that my mother did not appreciate or understand him, although she went through all the tests of life with him, fire and water and copper pipes, we went through poverty together! And he was able to take it and throw it. But he didn't stop there. Mom got a job, and from the age of 8 I became my brother’s mother. In the morning I fed him what I had prepared, walked with him, washed his things and hung him out to dry. Mom came in the evening, and we were always happy to go for a walk together.

And so we once again went outside and, after a walk, approaching the house, I saw everything being taken out of the doors of our apartment (furniture, appliances,refrigerator , stove, table, my piano) and dad took everything out! The man whom test-antibiotic.com I loved so much betrayed us. He did not pay any attention to me, his face was cold and his eyes empty. Having loaded everything into the car, he drove away. I ran into the apartment, fell to my knees on the floor in an empty room and began to cry. He cut off all the pipes, removed the radiators and took out the bathtub! He left us without the means to even heat food or wash ourselves. Then I just remember that I was on a sedative for a long time. Friends came and helped me pack my things (of which there was only one bag). For the next 2 weeks we lived with friends. Then they helped us buy a ticket and sent us to my mother’s hometown, and this city was located 5,000 km from Crimea, in Siberia.

If you knew how much I love my Motherland, and how hard it was for me to leave it. I can't imagine that onethe pain my mother endures and how she still holds on. We arrived in Siberia and with my arrival there my whole world fell apart, my whole one! The first year at the new school was terrible, I ended up in the test-antibiotic.com class of moral monsters. I, as a very friendly girl, tried to find contact with everyone, but nothing came of it, they didn’t want to communicate with me, they humiliated me (they called me names, took and threw my things around the school), I tried to defend myself, but with each such event I melted myfaith in people. The teachers didn’t care, and my mother simply couldn’t help, she worked hard for days so that we could live.

With a relieved soul, I transferred to another school, where I have been studying for 5 years and love it very much, and they love me there. But this did not come immediately. We arrived in Siberia in 2012, and very soon we annexed Crimea and all hell broke loose at school! Knowing that I was from Ukraine, they called me the worst names, but I remained silent. But by the time I was in 9th grade, my patience ran out and I started showing my teeth. My class graduated and new guys came to replace them. As we got older, we no longer thought about stupid conversations and the fact that nationality matters. We found a common language and quickly (literally within a month) test-antibiotic.com became friends.

Now everything has more or less settled down, but I can’tI can’t forget that fire that took away everything I hadthe betrayal of my father, the man I loved so much. Graduation is coming soon and I dream of returning to my homeland - to Crimea, I want to achieve everything myself and prove, first of all, to myself that I can. I want tothe father realized what he had done. Last summer I was in Crimea, I was in my native place, I went into the apartment (it is no longer ours, my father sold it soon after we left). Other people live there, they made repairs there, improved their housing. But I didn’t see anything joyful there. Tears poured from my eyes. Approaching every corner of my home that was no longer mine, I recalled moments from my childhood. How did mine go for the first time?brother , how I played the first sketch and painted the first landscape. I left the house in a depressed state.

I told only a small part of everything that happened, because I’m tired of writing, and I won’t be able to finish it calmly. Now I feel terrible, I don’t test-antibiotic.com want to see, hear, or communicate with anyone. It's summer and I'm immersed inloneliness day after day. I even hate my brother (whom I once loved madly), I don’t want to see him, his voice, steps and presence next to me are annoying. You can condemn this, in general, it doesn’t matter. But I believe that I will find peace only by returning home and restoring everything as it should have been from the beginning. I was ripped out of my life and I intend to bring justice. I’m sure many will judge or think that this is a stupid invention of a teenager, but I assure you, I wrote the pure truth coming from the soul.