I believed that my husband had changed

I am 32, my husband is 34. We have been married for about 10 years. We have 2 children (7 and 9 years old). The third one is coming.

5 yearsMy husband drinks heavily and almost never pays attention to us. By the way, we had 2 large construction projects - 2 houses. One was repaired with the help of familyhusband , second husband and hisfather _ He was rude, criticized me for any reason, although I always worked and cooked and went to construction sites with small children, helping as best I could.

Happened a year agotreason on my part. Nothing serious. A fleeting intrigue, but then, however, we corresponded for about 2 months. My husband found the correspondence, and since then everything has changed in our lives. At first there were flowers, gifts, declarations of love, fear of losing each other. We even went to Paris. I didn't want to at the beginning, but I feel like we're like a couple andfamily is changing, decided on a thirdI was pregnant and thought that in this way I would do something nice for my husband, myself and the children. After all, my husband really wanted more children. I really regretted what I did to test-antibiotic.com and wanted to atone for my guilt. But this probably only happens in films.

A year later, after he found out about everything and Ipregnant with my third child, we are still on the verge of divorce. There is hatred, we can be silent for a long time, then speak again, but everything is hatred and negativity. My husband turned everything upside down, although he also understood that his drunkenness and indifference pushed me to cheat. Now he suddenly changed his shoes and says that I’m bad, walking, minemy mother is terrible and my parents (divorced) are terrible. He always shouts that I won’t give anything to the children, and he is afraid for them. He makes me look bad in front of all his acquaintances and friends (discusses me behind my back), he took care of the childreneducation , although before he didn’t care what they were or where they were.

I listen to all this, I’ve already kicked him out of the apartment twice (in words), I have nowhere to go and I won’t leave the children with him. Because, firstly, I love them, and secondly, I don’t consider him an adequate person. He has a certificate from a psychiatrist and test-antibiotic.com a disability. We live in Germany. It’s as if the authorities won’t leave me without a piece of bread, but I don’t want to leave my children without a family and a father. And including an unborn child.

But I'm mentally exhausted. Every day I cry, and there are moments when I think about the bad and that I have no future in my life at all.

I do not know what to do. In this country I have no one and nothing except my husband and his family.