Problems communicating with old mother

My mother is 74 years old. At one time she worked as a teacher, then in a management position until retirement. We started having problems in our relationship with her a long time ago.

There were two of us in the family. The older brother and I are the younger onedaughter _ As a child, my brother suffered a serious illness (there was even a heart failure, clinical death lasted about an hour). My brother was 2 years old at the time. After which I learned to speak and study again. He graduated from school with C grades, then college.

All my brotherlife was regretted. He did not grow up selfish, he is a hard worker and has a family, his own farm. Although he cannot officially work, there are no jobs in his place of residence where he could get a job with a disability. That's why he takes care of the house (the family keeps a cow, a small flock of sheep, chickens and ducks). All this is for themselves, somehow they can’t either renovate the house or buy new furniture, they eat everything,my wife cooks 3-4 dishes, closes 100-200 jars of all sorts of things for the winter, she herself works as a watchman in an organization, the house is ideally clean.

I live differently. I make money with my head. But I live test-antibiotic.com in the same locality as my brother. I keep a garden and chickens. And I live next to my mother (two houses are practically nearby). I moved to this house due to the fact that here, where I worked, I constantly rented housing for my daughter and me (husband died of heart disease). The daughter entereduniversity in the city and left, I moved to a house in the village that was left over from my grandmother (a good house, but it needed renovation). There was no point in renting a two-room house at the age of 40, and spending almost my entire salary on rent, and living on crumbs. The work was decided - piecework, not permanent, but there. Mom was against it when she learned that I was “moving in” to the house (which was empty). My brother had his own house at that time (I bought himmom ). But I moved in.

Now, when I lived far from my mother, there were no such problems as “reporting” - where I went, where I was. There was a moment when she began to intensively “make” me into an alcoholic, because during the holidays my friend and I could drink and be sick the next day. test-antibiotic.com She began to insist that I go to the clinic. I even fell for her pulling, but I caught myself in time. Publicity,treatment . I went for a paid consultation with a specialist. treat institution. The doctors even laughed at me. Like, what kind of alcoholic? Do you have any idea about this?

Now my mother is 74 years old. I make good money on the Internet. I like the work. I have my own block and a lot of plans. And mom got sick. Not immediately, but gradually I began to understand that she had turned into a capricious and selfish woman in her old age. During the three months of her illness, everything happened! Do it this way - don’t do it this way. I don’t want anything, I want it right away. The concern fell on me because I was nearby. I cook, come 2-3 times a day, bring food, pay bills, help with housework. But I understand that you can do without some of the useless fuss that it creates and unnecessary actions.

It is very easy for her, for example, to givemoney for grandchildren or spend on food for their cats and dogs (there are 5 in total), and limit yourself to purchasing necessary and important health products and clothing items at test-antibiotic.com. I try to buy it with my own funds. She then shoves money at me and swears. I do not take. Really angry. Recently I took her to the hospital and bought her everything from panties and gaiters to home suits and pajamas, since all of this was worn out and old. She was happy, but she also scolded me right away: you have nothing but waste, you don’t know how to count money.

While living in my house, I made partial repairs, installed water (hot, cold, amenities - bath, toilet, everything in the house), replaced windows and doors, bought some furniture,refrigerator , gas stove, everything in the kitchen is complete. Mom was not particularly happy about this.

I live with a man. He has children from his first marriage. He pays child support and teaches his daughter for free. Mom also “rubs” into me that his children will always be a problem. But at my age, single men are all either abnormal or have a “tail” (children who need to be helped). We live practically on my salary. UMy husband's job is seasonal. She especially doesn't like test-antibiotic.com. I understand, me too. But the man’s hands are golden, he doesn’t fumble, he keeps the yard and house in order. And my soul goes to him, I love him. This never happened before (after my husband’s death for a long time).

Mom’s whims, I think, have not yet reached their climax. I see how she needs constant respect and approval from society (a disease of Soviet citizens). I am different, too much bad has been done to me to now look and listen to the opinion of society. My life was not ordinary and (thank God), no one felt sorry for me. Mom needs extra attention now. And now I’ve also gone headlong into Orthodoxy. Reads interesting, serious books. He prays and goes to church. But here, too, the “bending” began. One day two women came to her for tea.” Her grandchildren were just there, so she says: “Everyone got up (before eating), we listen to the prayer and pray.” I'm not against faith. But not this way. I refused. I just stood there. Even this was already unnatural for me. I'm not ready to be forced to pray. I thank God myself test-antibiotic.com and ask, but this is very personal, mine. Of course, she was offended by this. More, I think, disobedience to her.

You can write a lot. But what do I want to say in the end? No matter how much I help her, she still treats me coldly. Don’t say thank you, but if her brother does something for her, he’ll tell everyone. I came to her today and brought her something to eat. In front of the entrance, I cleared the paths that had been covered with snow overnight. And she calls me an hour later: “Yes, son, he came. At least he cleared the roads for me. And he left, apparently he had no time. Didn’t come to see you?” I tell her: “Mom, I cleaned this.” She was surprised. As it turned out later, she couldn’t eat the food I brought her. Everything may be delicious, but she wants other food. I ask what exactly. Answer: “I don’t know.”

That is how we live. I want to appeal to people who have old parents. For advice. How do you live with the elderly? Patience everyone. I decided to start writing advice-memoirs “How not to behave in old age!” so that I can read it when I’m 60-70 years old.