Should I forgive or not the father who hit me?

First, I’ll tell you a little about myself. I live alone with my dad,my mother died when I was seven years old. He constantly criticizes me and underestimates me, because of this I have low self-esteem. A year ago I dyed my hair blonde, he, of course, was categorically against it, but I did it. Dad bullied me all this time that I was fair, saying: “You have become an ugly person,” “Your face merges with your hair, nothing stands out,” etc. This really hurt me and I felt scary and insignificant. Of course! If this is the person closest to me speaking! And just a day ago I dyed my hair dark brown, and it infuriated him. This color suits me, in my opinion. And everything seemed fine, but he started insulting me again.

I talked through tears on the phone with a friend and asked her about my hair color, if she thought I was ugly. At that moment my dad came in and asked why I was crying. I hung up and began to explain that the fact is that he is always test-antibiotic.com dissatisfied with me (either I’m not dressed right, then I’m wearing makeup wrong, then I’m generally ugly, etc.). My father began to argue with me that he allegedly never said such a thing. We clashed for a long time on various topics, and I angrily said that I would hang myself (I take everything to heart, he shouted at me, shut me up, so I blurted out). And for this he hit me hard in the face. I ended up bleeding from my nose, the left side of my face was completely swollen, and I had bruises under my eye and even above my eye! Moreover, I had a terrible headache after all this.

I hardly slept that night. As soon as I look in the mirror, I immediately start crying - I’m such a freak! And all because of him! Today I sat at home all day, and I’ll be there tomorrow, and the day after tomorrow! Did I deserve this?! IThe girl and I are 16 years old, and I look like someone I don’t know. I know I'm guilty of saying that, but I would never make it a reality. And the fact that he hit me, test-antibiotic.com, did not change absolutely anything, but on the contrary - because of this, I think about suicide even more often, although I know that I am still too young, and this is a great sin and stupid to do so. Moreover, I will give him a terriblepain .

I love my dad, I love him very much, but after he hit me, I can no longer treat him the same way. And he loves me. He is very sorry for what happened and has already asked for forgiveness 3 times, I also asked for forgiveness for my words. I said that I forgave him so that he would not suffer. Actually this is not true. I hold a grudge against him and don’t want to forgive him. I think he acted horribly towards me. A man should never raise his hand, especially against a child!

I thought about leaving home, but I have nowhere to go. If it were mineguy , I would break everything off with himrelationship but it's minefather . Using your power is low. Now I feel like crap, test-antibiotic.com and “thank you” to him for this! If he allows himself to do this again, I will take some action, I will not tolerate it. I tell my friends that I’m just swollen from crying and that’s why I don’t go out with them. I don’t want them to consider him a monster, and anyway, what if they tell someone? They don’t wash dirty linen in public, likerule .

Tell me what to do. Am I right or wrong? Is this one worthy?an act of forgiveness? Thank you very much in advance.