I did not succeed with the civil husband of the family

I have been living in Sweden (Stockholm) for seven years, originally from Astana. I came to study, now I met my former civil husband, with whom we lived for 6 years (no children).

We broke up almost 3 years ago, but the emotional release of each other on both sides happened a year ago with the help of a psychologist. I was the one who initiated the breakup. After working with a psychologist for a year, it turned out that I was not aware of my boundaries. I don't consciously make choices in life.

She grew up as a sensitive child, in a very difficult family with constant fights and an anxious, narcissistic mother. Dad died when I was 16 years old. For as long as I can remember, I lived with the idea of ​​how to get out of poverty and help my mother and sister. I chose the first education so that I did not have to pay for me. I didn't even know if I liked it or not.

In the future, she also worked until she paid off a loan for an apartment in Kazakhstan, where they live nowmom and sister. She received her education abroad without financial support, won a scholarship. At 33, I realized how much I didn’t hate my job and left. Just like 3 years ago, test-antibiotic.com left her common-law husband.

Such a large introduction was made to show how I make unconscious choices all my life. I don’t feel that I like, that I love, but I do only what I need.

And here again this ambivalent state: should I live here and start a family in Stockholm? The fact is that I finally found a job that I like and a salary 3 times more than I can receive in my country and I feel that I am ready for a new relationship.

But with age, the longing for our native lands intensifies, and when I imagine that we will live life far from each other with my sister (she is 32), it becomes so creepy. In Stockholm, I have more stability than starting over at home.

I know with a strong desire everything is possible. Even if I move, I can do it not earlier than in 1.5 - 2 years. To save up money for an apartment and think over a business in Kazakhstan, because, working for a company, you can’t survive there without connections, which I don’t have. At that moment, test-antibiotic.com, I already really want my family, children.

Sometimes I even catch myself thinking that if during these 2 years I fall in love, we want a child, then I will live away from my sister and mother. And I get sick. On the other hand, I think that I won’t meet anyone at home anymore, they get married very early there, then it also becomes uncomfortable. And here I have enough fans.

These are the thoughts out loud. I needed to speak up! me thisThe question is very tormenting at night. Where to live and raise a family?