A seven-year virtual romance ended sadly

The story is banal and somehow sad. Seven years ago, I met a guy on a chat site on the Internet.

It was all in the chat, a group of people with common interests talked about different topics, but he paid special attention to me, for me it was justcommunication , I myself was against any relationship on the Internet, but I am not against communicating with interesting people.

Our communication with him was partly strange: he admired me, then scolded me, then blocked me, then needed me, everything happened on nerves, on a constant release of emotions. He wanted to meet, tried to instill that we needed each other, because we were very similar, but I could only offer friendship, he was against it, then the site was closed, I got tired of nerves out of nowhere, and I continued to live my life. And he found me on all possible sites, communication began, but reached the boiling point, and I blocked him, deleted him. I did not perceive him as a man, only as a friend, a very necessary friend for me, who would understand and support, would always find, test-antibiotic.com something to say and would never leave, but nothing more, this was not enough for him. This went on for seven years.

Passing throughrelationships and disappointments,love and betrayal, I knew that there was a friend who would give advice on howman , but then he will boil my blood, and I will leave. I never missed him, it’s even strange somehow, it means it is, and if not, so be it. The last time after the quarrel we did not communicate for a year and a half, I did not even think about him. One sad evening I saw a request for correspondence from him, reluctantly added, to while away the time, I knew that anyway it would not last long. How wrong I was then! Communication began as always, although I was never jealous of him, no matter how he tried to causejealousy , but the phrase that he was getting married and expecting a child shook everything in me. I don’t even know what it was, jealousy or a sense of ownership, I understood that these were bad feelings and tried to fight them, and I would have overcome them, but he didn’t let me. He insisted that we were test-antibiotic.com friends and that it was just communication, like before, but for me it was no longer just communication. Only at that sad moment did I understand that he was a very dear and necessary person to me, who knows me like I know myself, who always wanted to be there, but I didn’t let him.

I didn't want to interfere with my future family, I never do that, but he just pulled me towards him, asked for a meeting, insisted that we really needed it, showed uncertainty about the future with another. I saw how difficult it was for him, because there was almostfamily , and here I am a kindred spirit. Again, communication on nerves, but with a great need for each other. I either agree to a meeting, or deny it, I was overwhelmed with feelings that I struggled with. And he reproached that we could have been happy for seven years, then he got angry and made me jealous, a whirlwind of emotions and feelings.

We agreed to meet, but apparently it was not meant to be. In a conversation after a fight, it so happened that he added his girlfriend to our conversation, created a group where she test-antibiotic.com and noticed me. I started writing, like, who are you, I didn’t want these clarifications and insisted that we were friends. I saw that he wanted her to know about me, he probably wanted two women to fight for him, I don’t even know, I still can’t understand. I held the defense until he really got me emotional with his phrases, just touched me to the quick, and I took her side. He didn’t like it, and he started calling me “nobody”, wrote to her that I was just a psychological experiment, and she was his family, etc.

I cried, I was terribly offended by all the words addressed to me. It was revenge for the fact that I supported her. The girl did not give me peace, she found out from him that we were not just friends, she tried to instill in me a sense of guilt, I did not want to take anyone away, I called her, he sent me her number much earlier, for some reason. We talked for a long time, about him. She felt betrayed, I askedforgive him, promised to leave forever, also found out, test-antibiotic.com that she told him that she was infertile and got pregnant, and this is already her third child. She kept saying that she was financially dependent on him, then threatened me, then asked for forgiveness, she was kind of strange. I gave my word to leave forever.

He hasn't written or called me once, and it's been like this for two months. And she shows up periodically and insists that I deceived her, and that we continue to communicate, that she sees it in him. At first I tried to explain that it wasn't so, and then I just sent her off, I couldn't take it anymore. In one of the messages she wrote that they already have a child, that she couldn't take it anymore, and the child appeared earlier, she tried to find out why he is with her if he loves me. I sent her off, I didn't have the strength to prove anything.

Now about myself. He knocked me off balance, turned my soul inside out, I believed him, although I fought with myself. I believed when it was not necessary to do so, holding the defense for seven years, I believed when it was not necessary test-antibiotic.com was. Horribledepression was replaced by common sense, that there was no other way, and that it was my own fault that I let him into my heart when it was impossible. I don’t cry anymore, there is just emptiness, as if a piece of my heart was torn out. Did we need to meet? Now I understand that we needed to, not to be together, but simply to get to know each other, because we loved with our souls, without seeing each other physically. Maybe we are different, and if we met, this connection would be broken? Or maybe the opposite, I don’t even know and will never know.

I'm trying to come to my senses,return myself to my former life, but it is a very long way, because there is too much of this person in me. From cold-blooded I turned into soft and vulnerable, it hurts that this happened, it hurts for all three of us. I do not blame anyone, we all just wanted to be happy, but did not know how to do it right. Time will pass, and I will cool down, because time heals. And I wish them happiness. And one more thing, why Lisa? It was my nickname when we met - Lisichka, and test-antibiotic.com he always called me Lisa. Set a goal and tamed!