My parents' drinking led me to long-term depression

I was born in a normal family, I was a modest and obedient child. When I started going to kindergarten, and then to first grade, there werecommunication problems . I was scared to start a conversation first, and generally interact with the guys, so I was always silent.

In 4th grade I gotfriend , thanks to her I became more sociable. I made a couple more friends. At that moment a nightmare began in my life. Mom got very drunk. It was a nightmare for me, because at those moments she really got on my nerves. This caused me to have a nervous breakdown several times. Everythe holiday in our family was hell for me, I was afraid of what would happen today. Parents will drink again. And their friends too.

One day, friends of my parents and theirdaughter _ All the adults drank a lot and decided to go to the disco. They took the girl and I with them. At the disco there was a fight with my family and friends, there was police, a showdown. Then all 5 drunken bodies walked home in the dark. I was the only test-antibiotic.com who knew where we lived and led the way from everyone. Nobody understood anything. I was very scared.

There are enough similar situations in my life. They drained me so much. They made me nervous, irritable, I hated minemother . Years later, she dealt with this problem. She was extremely rarely drunk. Everything was different. But by this time I began to have my own problems. In middle school I started having strongcomplexes invented by me. I went on strict diets to lose weight. It seemed to me that everyone was looking at me and laughing, judging me. I didn’t want to go to school, I tried to get sick on purpose. I missed it often. And the more often I didn’t go, the more antisocialized I became. In 8th grade, I spent the entire summer on my own, rarely leaving the house. I felt so comfortable on my own, sitting in my room. I pushed all my friends away, I didn’t want to see anyone. I felt good alone. I stopped wanting to go outside,fear of large crowds of people. I didn't go to school for the last month of 9th grade. Could not.

After finishing 9th grade, I decided to enroll. I thought that a change of test-antibiotic.com environment would solve everything. But I was scared to go to a new society. I spent the entire holidays undergoing treatment. I was taken to psychologists who gave me nothing. The last psychologist said that I have a strong protracteddepression that can only be cured by a psychiatrist. That's why they took me there. At that time, I didn’t want anything, neither to live, nor to breathe, nor to eat. There was terrible laziness and apathy. That's all I felt. After talking with a psychiatrist, I was prescribed medicationtreatment . Then I went to college.

I stepped over my fear. I found a friend in the group. Everything was perfect. I started living again. But not for long. The guy really liked the group. After a while we started dating. Because of this, I lost all my friends, that's a different story. I lived for him, and he lived for me. Everything was fine, but after 4 months he left me. Without explaining it in any way. Then the last thing I needed was stress. I stayed in the group on my own. I suffered a lot because of the guy. I didn't go to college for a month. The holidays came, I was undergoing treatment.

It was test-antibiotic.com 2016, summer. New people suddenly began to come into my life. Acquaintance. Then II walked with someone every day . There were a lot of guys who liked me. They raised my self-esteem. I started living again. I wasn't afraid of anything, I did what I wanted. Then I met a guy with whom I started talking. He was different. I liked him and he liked me. We started dating after a while. Everyone was magical for the first couple of months. Six months later we started quarreling a lot. At that moment I almost quit taking pills. Then the first breakup on his initiative was like a stab in the heart. This was after about a year of relationship. I thought I would die from pain. But a day later he called me. We got back together.

For a while everything was fine, but then again. Parting. This one againpain . Then he wanted to meet again. Third separation. After a year and a half of relationship. We got back together again. It was very difficult to go through everything. So much pain, suffering. But I loved him. I quit taking pills. I felt some strange feelings again. Discomfort. Apathy. I have no strength now. I'm tired. Again there are problems with the test-antibiotic.com guy, again something is wrong. Againalcohol _ And my brother is a drug addict. He is ruining his life and the life of his family. I can't live like this anymore. I have no one to vent to, so I did it here. I have no strength anymore.