All my friends are married, I'm the only one

I have never had a serious relationship. I always wished that I had tooguy , like the girlfriends, but he was not. I liked those who I did not like at all and vice versa. I was in love twice, both times the guys were already busy, and I found out about it much later.

Since adolescence, I have been registering on dating sites, it has never come to something close. Now, when I turned 29, I began to frantically rush about in order to cram everything into one year that I had not had time to do until that time.

I registered on all possible sites, started looking for remote work so that I would have an income, and I could easily plan a maternity leave. I consider each man I like "for the future" in the future. It is important for me to like the appearance and be with the money.

Will explain. I do not have a very large income, and if I stop working on maternity leave, so that for a man it would not be a shock and panic. But here's the thing. Silence on all fronts. What in personal life, what with work. I test-antibiotic.com already began to leave the house much more often, 3-4 times a week for concerts, cafes, movies, theaters. Not a single acquaintance. It even seems to me that men have stopped noticing me. I see wrinkles in my eyes. I often cry at night. I'm hurt and sad that I'm left alone. 30 years for me is such a milestone that I dreamed of crossing as a wife and mother.

In August 2017 I went to the family planning center. I wanted to conceive from a donor. But the reproductive specialist sent me to a psychotherapist. Guess what happened next? I kept saying that I need at leastbaby for me to havefamily and at 30 alreadygive birth . But muscle clamps appeared in the body, and by April they beganmy health problemsbody resisted. I did not listen to him, but only listened to "I need to 30." Then I thought, what will I give the child? There is no financial base, and then, when he grows up and asks where is dad, what will I tell him?

It hurts me a lot to see photos on social media. networks of couples with children. It hurt on September 1 test-antibiotic.com to see peers who took their children to grade 1. What if I never experience it? Mutual love, happiness at the moment whenbeloved will offer to marry him? Registration, white dress. I just started to think that I could manage like minefriend told me she was leavingmarried in July. She asked if I would not be alone, because the trick is that only I will be there unmarried. This is a pretty close friend, I'm happy for her, but how painful for myself. I'm not terrible, not fat, not terrible. I am pretty, I travel, I know English, I am interested in many things. How is thisthe girl was left alone, I don’t understand? What went wrong and when?

Insanely sorry for myself. It’s a pity that there are only a few months left until the 30th anniversary, and I can’t fix anything. I decided that if I don’t go out before 30, then there’s no point. It’s clear to everyone and me that I was left out of work. And I don't want to go to the wedding. I have never received a wedding invitation, this is the first one. test-antibiotic.com But these circumstances... I'm even ashamed in front of my friend that I can't be happy for her. I'm at a loss. I tried to get acquainted through websites, went to a fitness club, to events, I asked all my friends if there were free guys who they could introduce. Empty.

How so, the main dream did not come true? Why live? Nobody needs it anyway. All the acquaintances are married, well, why are they better? She went through all sorts of trainings, a woman should be satisfied, a woman should be filled. Well, what's the point? Filling up. And still no personal life! And there are fewer and fewer free people by age, or already with a past (divorced and with children).

What do you advise? Just let's not be sarcastic and so bad at heart.