I am still under the influence of my mother and cannot organize my life

I am 26 years old. When I was 18, my parents divorced, and my mother and I moved to her friend and her husband in another city. All ties with relatives were severed.

I’ll say right away that at that time I didn’t have my own opinion and was influenced. 8 years have passed since then, we live together, housekeeping and everyday life are almost all of our activities. 4 years ago I started visiting my father and brother infrequently, trying to establish contact. Mom and her friend are against this. I'm used to not having my own opinion and adapt to them.

For a whileMom is sick and needs my help, not much. Also hergirlfriend andMy husband , who drinks, is used to the fact that almost all household chores are my responsibility. I dream of a free life, for this I need to move in with my father, but I’m almost sure that then my mother will break up with mecommunication .

I cannot decide to take this step, although I understand that I am ruining mylife . I recently met a boy on one of my trips to see my father. I’m moving, and the constant thoughts that he will forget me are just killing me. He invited me to celebrate the New Year with him , but my mother was categorically against me being in another city for the New Year. She doesn't know about the boy. Someday I will decide to leave. The question is when to do it? Now putting my life on the line for a guy who promises me nothing? Choose your life and losemother or suffers from such a life with her mother, but without the right to choose?