I don't love my mother

I don’t have an understanding with my mother, and never have. Everything common ends at the material level. There is no emotional, and especially spiritual, intimacy. Of course, maybe the problem is that I look like the father she didn’t love, but leftmarried because she was already twenty-six years old and in order not to be left alone, she married the one who proposed. The mother believes that she is always right, knows what is best, and is not interested in what others want and think. She expects from her loved ones only what she wants.

She gave birth to children because she needs to manage someone and ensure her old age, she is very afraid of death. In front of her peopledaughter , that is, I am smart and so on, but she herself will never praise or recognize my talents. She criticizes me all the time and imposes her point of view and demands that I do as she wants. I don’t do it, but she accumulates anger and often makes scandals.

Now she is 83 years old and again, after a long period of living at a distance, and this is already more than eight test-antibiotic.com years, I am taking her to live with me. I still feel sorry for her, after all, she raised me and it’s difficult for her to live alone at that age. I will, of course, explain to her that if she poisons uslife , then I will resettle it and never take it away, but I’m not sure that this will help.

But I still can’t leave her now in helpless solitude, I feel sorry for her. Mom may love me as best she can, but maybe I don’t notice it or don’t understand it. I need a lotforgive your mother. But how? How to feellove and true compassion? How to forgive everything? I understand with my mind what it ismother , but I can’t with my heart. I am always looking for a source and reason for love and it just doesn’t work out - emptiness.