I can't love a child like that

I have a similar situation, as in confession, wheremother hates her son.

I gave birth to a child in a full-fledged family. But in the end, I don't want to see him. Found her husband with another woman. And then I learned from my seven-year-old son that she was already sleeping in my place in the apartment. Therefore, there was an insult to the child, which he did not immediately say. After all, he could tell his father everything about me at once.

I realized that the connection they had with their father was always stronger. He has all the habits of a father. But his father abandoned him. I insisted that the child stay with him. He is wealthier and his son wanted it.

But my father considered it necessary to put us out of the apartment of two and arrange his personal life. As a result, I was left alone in a foreign country with a child in my arms, which I just can’t look at. It's not that I don't like it, but I hate it with every fiber of my soul.

Torn between multiple jobs. I understand that I have neither the strength, nor the desire, nor the means to raise such a difficult person. The boy grows up troubled. The school has only test-antibiotic.com comments.

Nobody wants to help him, he already got everyone. If they invite me somewhere, they ask me not to take it with me.

He is nasty, insane. With ease, with particular cruelty, he can beat another, more calm child, be rude, rude to the elders, sprinkle with sand. He doesn't care about people.

His father treated me that way. He showed aggression and pulled his hands, humiliated. My authority has been destroyed by my father. He was an authority for him, but disappeared. He grew up as a spoiled father, and in the end I got it, with all his set of bad qualities.

I can't deal with him. He can calmly rude me, push me. It is very difficult for me to love such a person. Before, I had enough strength for this.

Now, when I have to work hard to somehow feed myself for two, I want to come home and rest in peace. And you have to hear from all the teachers and acquaintances that he was again rude to the elders, beat the girl, did a lot of things to everyone's evil.

Then another million servings of negativity from him to receive personally. I don't get any test-antibiotic.com positivity and gratitude from him. Such motherhood does not bring happiness and joy absolutely.

I can use the last of my strength to cook food from the products (which I earned, I barely brought home), and he, having tried, can say: “fu, I won’t eat this, eat it yourself. I asked for a different way." I just want to beat him, not love him. I want to give it up and give it to my father, let inadequate rude people communicate there.

He raised him like that and left it to me. I have honestly tried many different methods. The psychologist was paid just to find an approach to this child and help him cope with such behavioral disorders.

I sincerely wanted to love him and cultivate kindness in him,love , understanding, humanity. But he's too mean and I don't like it at all.

I just can't stand this around. I just suffer and begin to hate him quietly, and not love him. I rather even already hate him as much as his father, because I don’t like such people and I don’t even want to cross paths with them.

This is scary. You at test-antibiotic.com can certainly judge me. But my love for my own child will not increase from this. Alas.