I've hated myself since childhood
Scold me. People like me are a godsend for virtual trolls. The fact is that I have hated myself since childhood. This is understandable: I was an unwanted child, so I deserved parental abuse. But despite all this, she studied well and was not a troublemaker.
Then I entered university, graduated and became a workaholic. I work seven days a week and on holidays, at work I am considered a professional,I have money , but still self-hatred has not gone away. And if I receive comments from my superiors (not a reprimand!), then I’m generally ready to eat myself whole.
I don't have a family, and I don't need one. I communicate with my parents to a minimum and have no friends either. I just don’t quarrel with anyone, but I don’t get close to each other. In general, I’m used to being alone and I don’t need anyone, because I “live” at work. I rent a small apartment in which I only sleep. I hope one day I can fall asleep and not wake up (workaholics often have heart attacks or strokes).
Today my boss scolded me for a small mistake and wished me not to allow this to happen in the future. She has known me for a long time and respects me as a specialist and was surprised that I was so stupid. It seems like nothing special happened, but I’ve been scolding myself early in the morning.
Thank you for listening.
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