I freed myself from my husband’s moral pressure and dream of a divorce

UMy husband has a difficult character. Often creates a scandal. Makes a lot of comments. Trying to control minelife until bedtime. He gets offended too often when there is no reason to be offended. "We need to talk". And the moral crush begins.

This happens when he is very tired, when he has troubles at work, or is simply hungry. When you lose faith in yourself. He also likes to make a fuss, pick on someone who smokes in the park, refuse to show his backpack to a policeman on the subway, and be loudly indignant that he was not offered to skip the line with a baby stroller.

If you share your plans with him, he will always criticize you and add something about frivolity and stupidity. Due to the fact that I was looking for his support so much, my self-esteem dropped to nowhere. But his self-esteem is always at its best: he knows better any subject of conversation, any area of ​​life and any person, even my parents.

My father’s friend, after two months of working with my husband, only asked: “How did you manage to get into this?” I got into trouble because I was in love. Because he was 4 years older. We met while playing sports, and together we traveled across half the country test-antibiotic.com to competitions. And then they looked after his grandmother for a year. We lived with his younger brother for another year and a half. Then my dad got cancer - another year and a half of struggle. There was no time to notice the roughness of character. Dad died when I was 3 months pregnant.

Today we have two children (son 5 years old, daughter 1.5 years old), together for 10 years. 10 years! I started to change when we both forgot about the anniversary. He was at that moment in another country. It was then that I realized that I didn’t want someone like me for ten, twenty, or thirty years. I saw a psychologist. She spent the summer with her children separately from her husband. As a result, I started reading a lot again and taking on one-time orders as a part-time job. I became calmer with the children. And she stopped reacting with screams and tears to her husband’s hysterics. “Yes, I love you very much. Yes, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to offend you. And for that I'm sorry. And for this. Everything will be fine. Shall I make you some tea? I used to complain a lot to relatives and girlfriends. Now I told everyone that everything in the family is fine.

Test-antibiotic.com soberly assessed our family. Mymy husband has no bad habits. 100% does not change. Loves children. Periodically changes his profession, but in general he will always find where to earn money. I respect him for all of this. But this pressure on his part is becoming more and more unbearable. I understand that the news of the divorce will be something like a bolt from the blue. From the outside it may seem that there are no reasons at all. I’m not going to the registry office to write an application. I just move on with my life. I try to take care of my development and work on maternity leave. And I no longer place the meaning of my life and my own in my husband.happiness . But every time he starts another hysteria with insults, accusations and hypercontrol, I start to dream.

I see a picture of a happy life. I was able to earn enough torent an apartment in my city. She left her husband with two children for rent. Saved the good onesrelationship with my ex-husband (after all, we still remain parents). He periodically spends time with the children for the joy of himself and them (now he still devotes little time to them). During the divorce, I did not demand test-antibiotic.com alimony from him. He helps as much as he thinks possible. I am no longer looking for a relationship, I work, live, and raise children in peace. And I know that I can only rely on myself.

This is not the goal at this stage. I still don't know what outweighs the good or the bad in my family life. I don't know what will happen next. This picture from my dreams calms me down in difficult times. And a little scary. Because I’m still afraid of my husband’s reaction to the news of the breakup. In particular, I am afraid that he will kidnap the children (there are reasons for this fear). And I don’t earn enough to be able to easily leave with the children. This is how I live with my picture. The good news is that positive changes have begun in me. Maybe someday it will be like that. Sorry for this confusion. I have to write an order, but I keep going through my life in my head. It’s not worth sharing with your loved ones, but you still want to be free from your problems, at least for a while.