I repeated the fate of my mother

My father and mother had a second onemarriage ,Mom is quiet, calm, she married him right after schoolmarried​ Dad is handsome, prominent, with a good position. He is 10 years older than his mother, divorced, two children. He abused my mother terribly, beat her, drank. And he beat us often. So many years have passed, and I still wake up in horror, remembering his beating of my mother.

My father held a high position, but fell into disrepair and became an alcoholic. Still, he kept us at bay. Mom alllife endured, forgave and tried to please him in everything, but this did not save her. She even turned a blind eye to his infidelities, but he did not hide it. Everywhere, he blamed her for everything, his relatives also mocked her. OnlyDad's brother respected Mom and felt sorry for her. He is the school director, formidable, dad was afraid of him and during his infrequent visits he treated mom calmly.

But one day my dad brutally beat my mom and kicked her out onto the street, in a strange city where they had recently moved. Mom contacted the police. But since dad held a high position, they arrived, test-antibiotic.com silently turned around and left. Mom called dad's brother. He jumped on a motorcycle in the middle of the night and rushed tohelp , but lost control. In general, they buried him. Since he was a very respected person, a lot of people gathered, everyone blamed his mother. For some reason, dad enjoyed it if someone offended mom. I once witnessed my dad’s drinking buddy swearing at her, my mom was crying,the father laughed. Drinking at home in the evening was the order of the day. Mom never drank, but she had to sit at the table, pour them vodka, and sing them songs (she had a very good voice), and in the morning go to work without sleep.

By the way, we were intimidated, we were afraid to say a word against, for fear of beatings, we also didn’t sleep all night, we went to classes in the morning. I got into college easily. There was no money, I studied in one dress and torn shoes for all 5 years. It was very difficult. I didn’t communicate with anyone, I went straight home from class, God forbid I was late. We had nothing to eat, but there were no problems with alcohol. Once my sister and I went to test-antibiotic.com mosque, dressed poorly, but one elderly woman started shouting at us that we had no right to enter in such clothes, we were very ashamed, we tried so hard to hide our difficult situation. Even for the trip we had to count pennies. Somehow we got there, and then thisattitude . In short, we went to church, bought a candle, went up to one icon, and made wishes. It was only later that we realized that we had committed a sin again. We are not baptized, it turns out that only baptized people should enter the church.

For a long time I was afraid of people, I didn’t communicate with guys at all. And only after the death of her father she married, also a divorced man. He was the first and remains the only man. Have children. I heard from others, and he himself said thathis ex- wife was walking around, she was very beautiful and domineering, which is why he left her. Now he accuses me of being a prostitute, our common girls, and from an early age he insults me with obscene words. He comes home from work early, lies on the couch with a beer in his hands. I come late, run to cook food, work with the children, I don’t have time to do everything, test-antibiotic.com to my timid requests, at leastput the meat on gas until it boils, I’ll come, she starts screaming that I’m a careless housewife. Junior from kindergarten eldestdaughter picks it up. He studies in the morning, runs home in the cold while his shoes are drying on the radiator, does his homework, and runs to kindergarten. One day I went to kindergarten with a fever, somehow got home, sat on the road, felt better, and then the two of them walked again. 5 years difference between children.

I tried to talk to my husband, but again ran into a scandal. He makes good money, I have so many serious illnesses. I'm afraid I won't live long if I leave him, what will happen to me, who needs children? Don’t leave, it’s scary to leave it to him. I try to think only about good things, but every day it’s more and more difficult. His relatives, if we go to them, begin to be indignant that the children either dirty their rugs with them, or eat them, although they are afraid of them, without asking, they don’t take anything from the table, they come home with their heads down. The last straw was that theya child 2 years older began to beat my daughter on the head, and everyone test-antibiotic.com laughed, my daughter cried. I stopped taking my children to them, and I stopped going myself, I didn’t swear, I didn’t quarrel.

Not expecting such a reaction from me,the husband was shocked. But he resigned himself. He drinks, that’s what I’m afraid, the children are small, and I don’t see much love for sobriety. One question torments me: why do people, when you are silent, can pour all the dirt on you, if you are defenseless, and try to finish you off? Can impunity really make your head spin so much?