It's all my fault

Kostya and I were friends from early childhood, we were neighbors, we went to the same school. We were often teased that we, like the bride and groom, were together everywhere. Our parents worked together, and I saw my friendevery day , we visited each other very often and spent all the holidays together. The only exception was my trips to visit my cousin and aunt, where I suffered from boredom.

When I was 16 years old, Kostya, together with his mother and younger brother Seryozha, moved very far away, to the other end of the country due to the death of his father. I missed my friend, but soon I forgot and left to study in a new city. There I met my firstlove , rented an apartment and started everything from scratch. I can’t say that I completely surrendered to student life, sometimes I missed his shoulder, but I didn’t love him and perceived him only as a friend due to my age. And then minethe guy suggested that I go to his relatives and relax a little, and I agreed. This was just after graduating from university.

A couple of test-antibiotic.com days after my arrival, Vasya and I had a big fight, and I went for a walk around the city alone. Out of the corner of my eye I noticed a familiar face and how surprised I was to see Kostya! He recognized me too and we drank all eveningcoffee and talked about life. He was married to his former neighbor Sveta. That day my feelings flared up with unprecedented force, and I walked around in confusion for several days before confessing. Then everything was like a fairy tale: he took me to restaurants, pampered me with beautiful gifts, and walked in the park. Histhe wife did not notice anything. I fell in love with Kostya very much and could not let go, although I understood that I was doing everything wrong.

The next summer after we met, mymy beloved took a vacation and took me to the sea. It was magical, we spent whole days together, went to various entertainments and remembered our youth. But the fairy tale ends sooner or later, and for me it ended with pregnancy. When I told him, he was incredibly happy. He put me in his brother's apartment while it was empty, and test-antibiotic.com gavemoney for doctors, food and examinations. Stupid, I was so surrounded by care and attention and lived in my thoughts, amusing myself that soon he would leave his wife and marry me. They didn’t have children, and he wanted to become a dad.

When I was 8 months pregnant, he came to me with a large bouquet of flowers, and I began to beg him for a divorce. I often raised this topic, but then the hormones went wild and I insisted. She cried, begged, screamed. Kostya listened silently, and then told me to sit down. We talked for a very long time and he admitted that his conscience would not allow him to leave for another, but he really wants this child and loves me. In response to my questions about the fact that he and Sveta do not have children, he said that he was too attached to his wife and the children do not always decidemarriage _ It turns out he loves us equally.

I said that I didn’t want to see him anymore, but he said nothing and went to the exit. In the end, he added that when I calm down, I can dial it. As a result, I did another stupid thing test-antibiotic.com and dialed his wife instead of my beloved. She confessed to everything, said thatpregnant , and asked to leave him, to let him go for the sake of our happiness. She sobbed into the phone and hung up. A few days later Kostya came to see me. I thought that Svetka had let him go, but that was not the case. He said that because I told my wife everything, everything was over between us, and he was leaving me. After all, he clearly let me know that he would not leave the family. He will help with the child with money, leave the apartment, and will visitdaughter or son, but he won’t even look at me.

When Irochka was born, Seryozha met me from the maternity hospital. Gloomy, he handed me the keys to the previous apartment from our hometown, where they once lived, practically a neighboring house next to my parents. Now I live with my little daughter in their apartment. I'm slowly going crazy because everything reminds me of him. I never told my parents anything, I didn’t even warn them about the pregnancy. I try not to intersect with them and I don’t know, test-antibiotic.com how to live further. My girl’s father kept his promise, he sends normal and regular money. But I live as if in captivity, I don’t even look at other men, I’m on maternity leave. I recently found out that Sveta cannot have children, but this does not improve my chances. I know that this is my retribution forpain caused to another woman.

What should I do? I know what I did was disgusting and I ask you not to read morals because I know that I am a terrible person.