I was never able to become a good mother for my little daughter.

I'm not looking for excuses for myself. It’s just that all this has been accumulating in my soul for a very long time and I want to confess.

I don't love my child the way I should. I know I'm badmother , a mother “should love her child more than herself and more than life,” but I can’t. It didn’t work out, it didn’t work out.

WasMarried ,she loved her husband , wanted to live like everyone else, to have a family. Or did you just want to be like everyone else, following the stereotypes? Certainly. It's a pity I realized it too late. She became pregnant, but was not completely ready for it. I relied on chance, although I had thoughts about abortion. But I didn’t want to kill the child. She carried it to term and gave birth as expected. A girl (and I always dreamed of a son). Everyone was happy,husband , his mother, my parents. And I immediately experienced confusion and confusion in the maternity hospital after giving birth.fear . And then, too, fear and irritation.

There are tons of problems with children, alllife is awry. My husband expected such tension even less than I did; he expected that babies only sleep and eat. Therefore, very quickly test-antibiotic.com he left us, because “children are not mine,” in his words. On the one hand, I understand him, because children are not my thing either, absolutely. But this doesn’t make it any easier for me personally, because there is no help other than alimony, which is only enough for diapers and a couple of jars of food. I can’t force you to love and help. Therefore, the entire burden is physical and material on me. I don't complain or seek sympathy. I understand that I will now pay for my rashness all my life. Only when my daughter was 1.5 years old did I begin to experience positive emotions and some feelings for her. Because she herself finally shows at least something, hugs, calls, cuddles. I am not offended by her, I regularly look after her and study. But this motherhood is a burden for me. Thousands of times I regretted that I gave birth. I am a calm person, I like to live alone and for myself. If it weren’t for her, I would prefer to live my whole life alone, realizing thatfamily is not mine.

I'm tired of these endless pains,problems , and test-antibiotic.com’s character is too impulsive. And there is nothing to console yourself with, because there is more ahead - kindergarten, school, even more sores, hugemoney for everything. And this disgrace will last for a very long time, I will already grow old. But I would really like to change jobs (I can’t take risks, money is already short), move, travel, spend money on myself. All this is impossible due to the presence of a child. It turns out that I will spend my life on growing it. And what in return? She will grow up and go off to live her own life, or she will have grandchildren like everyone else. I don’t understand the joy of taking off your last skin for someone, even if he is your child.

I was thinking about giving the child to the father, because he took the same part, but he won’t take it, and even if he takes it, he’ll end up pushing me away or into an orphanage. It’s still a pity, she’s not to blame for anything. And my parents will not forgive, they are the only ones who really love her and whom she makes happy. They used to love me, but now they’re running around with her, although I don’t understand it, it must beeducation , not permissiveness.

However, test-antibiotic.com I don’t care at all, I still think that with the birth of this unnecessary child I ruined my life irrevocably. As much as I would like to go back in time and fix this, it’s a pity that I can’t. I live with such thoughts and feelings every day, I could not understand the joys of motherhood, although I tried with all my might. I advise everyone to think 100 times before having children, especially women, men are not responsible for anything.