I regret that after meeting my first love, I divorced my husband

Mylife has lost all the colors of life. Let me start by saying that for the last 6 years I have loved a man with whomrelationships developed only in bed.

We met in 2011 at work. Then he was 27 years old, I was 21. The feelings were mutual from the first day. He found out my number from someone and wrote beautiful messages. That's basically how it all started. I quickly lost my head and already on the third date we had intimacy, after which he disappeared.

At that moment I hated myself for everything, I couldn’tforgive me for allowing everything to happen. After a while I triedforget , but he couldn’t get it out of his head. Beganhealth problems . My heart started to hurt. I couldn't pull myself together. Sometimes she cried all evening long, lying on the floor. Three weeks later he showed up, and besides, due to his work, he still had to periodically appear in our office. Then he explained everything to me that he had made peace with his girlfriend and that they had a serious relationship. And I made a mistake again. test-antibiotic.com I gave in to my feelings. So we started seeing each other whenever we wanted.

He wasn't interested in my personal life (for a while). We just had fun while we were together. These were the happiest times. Time passed and he finally admitted his feelings. Our relationship has moved to a completely different level. Now, if he had someone, I didn’t know about it. Among our friends we were a couple. Someone even jokingly called me his wife. But even in this wonderful situation, we saw each other mostly at night. We could get together with friends, or be alone, in any case we felt good with each other. And such relationships lasted almost until the end of 2013.

And one fine day, his business partner invited me to work, supposedly to wait for my man there. We were standing on the street, and he drove up with another woman. It is clear that his friend decided to open my eyes in this way, because he did not know that I would be there. The breakup was very difficult. I went to test-antibiotic.com Moscow, in 2015 I leftmarried _ All this time my exman tried mereturn . He found my phone number, flew to Moscow, asked me to come back, said that he realized everything and wanted a family. I lived in Moscow for 3.5 years. During this time, I never cheated on my husband. But sometimes I still came to meet my ex. In May 2017, I decided to get a divorce because I don’t love my husband, I can’t forget the other, there is no happiness in the family.

In general, my desperate attempt to escape failed, and I returned to my hometown. Hot meetings with the ex began again. He talks about love and great feelings, but he himself turned out to be already married. Naturally, I didn’t know about this when I agreed to the meeting. On the day I found out everything, he was especially frank. Usually he prefers to remain silent about his feelings, but this time he told me how much he suffered when I left and got married. He told me thatHis girlfriend accidentally became pregnant, and he married her when test-antibiotic.com was already 6 months old. Those. a month before my arrival. He said that he loved her, but in his own way. But he has loved me for a very long time and these are completely different feelings that he cannot fight.

After our conversation, I am so depressed that simply out of hopelessness I have no idea how to live further. We only saw each other once after that. It was clear that he was saying goodbye to me. I don't know, I just intuitively felt it. Apparently this is true. He always called first and wrote too. And now he just disappeared. Over these 6.5 years, I have been so tortured by this relationship that I simply don’t want to breathe anymore. Everyone who comes my way is not interesting to me and disgusts me. It's impossible to forget the person I love. I don’t know how to live further. He is married and will not get divorced. I don’t expect anything from him, and certainly don’t ask for anything. I just don't know how I can continue to live with this. We may not see each other again. And it will be right. But it’s so scary to realize this, it hurts so much.