Life without children

I really want to tell you about my stupidly lived life. I am now 48 years old and I am trying to start living again. In a strange city and all alone. No, of course, there were pleasant moments in my life, but there were also many disappointments and unfulfilled dreams and desires.

One of my biggest unfulfilled desires is to have a baby. No, health is fine. It's just that life turned out so, as they say, unsuccessfully. I was married, for 26 years my husband and I lived in perfect harmony, but it seemed to me then.

Valentine (myhusband ) was the first and last love in my life: tall, handsome, jack of all trades, hardworking. We met him at the institute, and after 14 days of our acquaintance, we submitted applications to the registry office.

After 3 months they played a wedding, a student wedding - there weresausages and saltytomatoes , there was no money even for potatoes. Valik had no parents, he was raised by his cousinmother's sister , and he was ashamed to ask her for money, and I have onemom and test-antibiotic.com 2 twin brothers 7 years old.

Immediately after the wedding, our youngthe family moved into a room in a communal apartment, kindly provided to us by Valik's friend. There was a bed, a chair and a suitcase with our things in the room.

So we lived for 3 years. Even before the wedding, we dreamed that we would have 3 children. Valik really wanted a daughter, and so did I. After a year of living together, I talked about it with him.

He said that children are the best thing in the world, but giving birth to children in such conditions is not worth it. It is better to wait for another one, until he graduates from the institute, goes to work, they will give us a room in a family hostel and then we will give birth to a daughter. I agreed. I thought that he really spoke correctly.

Then, at a family council, we decided that I should leave the institute - two students in one family would be crowded. Yes, and there is no family budget for two to eat in the student canteen. And so I will be at home, I will cook a meal, and he will run in and have lunch.

After graduating from the institute, Valik was given a room in a hostel. But even then we test-antibiotic.com did not have children. At that time, 6 couples lived on our floor, 4 of which had children. There I became friends with Marina. She lived with her husband and daughter.

Lenochka was then very small and I very often helped Marinka, sat with her, fed, walked. Then I decided to talk to Valik. I really wanted a child.

He agreed, but about a year later. The husband just got a job, while settling down in a new place, so that when he was bornbaby , there was stability.

We waited for stability for 4 years, and when it came, they decided to resettle our hostel. We were moved to another, where there were terrible conditions. After 5 years, we were given an apartment, a good one.

By that time, Roller had already become a site foreman. The house began to appearmoney , stability appeared and we decided on a child. Butpregnancy did not work.

I went to the doctor who said everything was fine. She prescribed vitamins and said after the vitamin to try again. But at that time, Valik was offered a place at a large metallurgical plant in another city.

We moved in and were leaning over the test-antibiotic.com apartments again. Then we decided to build a house. I reminded him of the childevery day , and he only brushed aside that everything is still ahead. Let's build a house and give birth not to three, but there will still be one.

Construction, worries, troubles. The years flew by like a blink of an eye. When I woke up, I saw thatThe husband began to look even more beautiful than he was. A few gray hairs suit him very well, and in general he is a man for me anywhere. But we lost our passion. We were like neighbors.

Then I again reminded about the child, to which my husband said that yes, the child is needed. I said: "Let's give birth." And he laughed and said: “Aunt, how old are you, at your age they are already nursing grandchildren, and not giving birth to children, or do you want to give birth to another down? You are already 44, what kind of children? And I will find someone who will give birth to a child for me, believe me, I will not be left without a child.

And then I matured. I realized that I was already old, and my whole life was in vain. Just passed, in worries about Valentine. A week later he left, went to her. test-antibiotic.com At first I called him, asked, hysterical. On nervous grounds, at the age of 44, menopause began in me, I was very old.

For a year I did not live, but existed. I just howled day and night, hoping that he would return. He returned a year later, askingdivorce . Said he found a woman and shepregnant by him.

I asked him why he needed a girl who could be his daughter and asked him to introduce me, to introduce me as his sister. I don't know why I did it. I guess I just wanted to see what he traded me for. He surprisingly agreed.

I was very surprised that Valik's chosen one was not a young girl, but a rather adult woman named Anastasia. She is 38, she has 2 higher educations and really loves him.

Returning home, I dived under the covers and howled like a beluga. Marina helped me. Although she lived far away, she was always supportive. In March, Valik's daughter Veronica was born . The daughter that we dreamed about so much.

He came to me with a bottle of cognac and stayed. Stayed for a week. No, test-antibiotic.com and I didn't make love, we talked like brother and sister. He told me how he loves his wife and daughter, and I cried.

And then I decided that so be it and you just need to start all over again. I left Valik the house, completely abandoned him. Let it be, the child needs room for development - we built a house for our children.

I left for a small town. There I got a job as a nanny in a kindergarten, I rent a room from an old woman. Sometimes in the evenings Valik calls me and tells me about his girl. But that week he told me that he and Nastya would have a son. And I cry at night...