I feel unhappy and empty

My name is Maria. Age 27 years. Married. Eatdaughter , she is 7 years old. I spent my entire childhood in an orphanage, dreaming of a family, of my children. After graduating from school, I rushed to the city, entered a technical school and in my last year met a guy, he was 21, and I was 17 years old at the time.

We were introduced by mutual friends, by chance. After a painful breakup with the previous boy, everything quickly started to turn around with the current one, so much so that a year later I already became a mother. I was incredibly happy that my little blood appeared, you know! And that's all I have!

The husband, of course, after the birth of his daughter, began to go out with friends, drink excessively, smoke drugs, drive drunk, etc. I experienced greatpain , many tears were shed. Humiliation, insults, misunderstanding.

I don’t have parents, and I also have no one to turn to for advice and help. And there's nowhere to run. And I lived, suffering with pain in my heart, for 5 years. In the sixth year of marriage, one morning I woke up and realized that everything, I was empty, inside test-antibiotic.com everything was cold and indifferent to everything. I don’t want anything in this life, and if it weren’t for the child, I would go crazy, I would do something bad to myself. Only the child stopped, thinking about how bad it would be for her without her mother. And I lived this life for another year in marriage. In the seventh year of marriage, I decided that I needed to change something, I felt so bad, I wanted to dissolve, forget myself,to forget everyone, I wanted to go far, far away and hide in a village in the most run-down and dilapidated hut with my daughter, so that no one could ever offend or find us.

We were driving with the whole family in the car, and that day I calmly confessed to my husband. That’s it, dear, I can’t take it anymore, I can’t stand your drinking, sell the car (bought with my money, by the way, this is the only thing I had). I'm on thesemoney I’ll buy a house in the village for around 200 thousand rubles. and I will disappear from your life. My husband calmly and indifferently answered me “okay, fine.” And silence. We remained silent for a week. test-antibiotic.com And so he began to try to make peace, improve, get along with his daughterattitude , but he never touched her at all, it seems to grow and grow, what else is needed.

And somehow everything worked out quickly. We lived in a one-room apartment, which my husband inherited from his grandmother, we decided to sell it in order to expand in front of the school, the child needed his own room, everything worked out for us, of course everything was hard. We bought a two-room apartment near the school, the child went to 1st grade, everything seemed to go according to plan,There is an apartment , it is being renovated, the child goes to school safely. The turmoil was over, I sat down and realized, but there was no happiness, there was no happiness for me. I feel empty, I don’t want anything, I’m not interested in anything except the happiness of the child, I have lost interest and the meaning of life. I know that I have to hold on, I repeat because of my daughter, that’s all. No friendslife threw me first to one boarding school, then to another. I can’t find a place for myself, I don’t know what to do. Help with advice. It always seems to me that I am living wrong, doing everything wrong, raising things wrong. Some kind of crisis.