I cheated on my boyfriend, now I regret it

I cheated on my boyfriend, now I regret it
Photo is illustrative in nature. From open sources.

I’m not looking for excuses, I know who I am after this, but I still want to speak out.

I dated a guy, broke up six months ago. I ran after him for a long time, suffered, and was humiliated, but in September, it seemed to me, I had forgotten him. At this time I met a new guy, I have been dating him for almost 3 months. He does everything for me, I know that he loves me very much.

Yes, the thing is that I'm his firstgirl in terms of relationship, we don’t have sex, and he doesn’t satisfy me physically. I seem to have gotten used to him, I like spending time with him, and when I’m with him, I don’t think about anyone else, but it’s still the physical intimacy that’s missing, it’s a need, and he’s a virgin. In December 2016, I accidentally met my ex-boyfriend, I was in an inadequate state, and it so happened that we slept together. My conscience tormented me for a long time, I argued with my current boyfriend over trifles, but later it happened againtreason because for mesex in a relationship plays a very test-antibiotic.com important role.

The current one has no idea about anything, says how he loves him, goes crazy, but I don’t want to part with him. Well, because he looks at me with those eyes, it’s even hard to explain. Actually I don't believe inlove , but something is keeping me from staying with my current boyfriend, maybe just affection. He gives me what I have been missing for a long time - tenderness, care, and I treat him so ugly. Now I have deleted all contacts, blacklisted my ex, and I understand that I don’t want to see him anymore, but this man did a lot of bad things, and after him I stopped believing in any real feelings and became soulless.

In fact, I’m ashamed, my conscience is tormenting me, I don’t want to quitrelationship with a real guy, I know that it’s better to endure it: there will be sex, but it won’t replace my feelings. I will never actually see him again. I don’t even look at other guys, they somehow don’t interest me. But it’s the formerFor some reason the guy is catchy.

I'm test-antibiotic.com confused. Maybe, even if you don’t want it, you should break off the relationship? Maybe I still have some feelings for my ex-boyfriend? Because all this was very painful, and probably everything has not yet been completely forgotten, which is why I am drawn to him.

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