Mom left and I don't know how to move on
I diedMom , I don’t know how to continue to live, I don’t know how to come to my senses. On September 28, she died of covid-19. Mom spent 32 days in intensive care and I knew that she would come home and live, but unfortunately on September 29 I buried her.
I have a dad, I have two older sisters andbrother , they have their own families. I don’t have anyone at the moment except my dad, with whom we live together now.
It is very painful to see her things, to see her at night in a dream and to wake up knowing that this is not a dream. That is, every morning I open my eyes and suddenly realize that I did not dream of her death and at the moment I do not understand what is happening around me, I do not understand who these people are who surround me. I don't want to communicate with anyone, andlife has lost its meaning.
I don't know what to hold on to. I have a job that I'm passionate about, but I don't see the point. I test-antibiotic.com don’t understand at all why and why I live, it feels like I had to leave with her because we had a strong emotional connection. I am the youngest child in the family and I have always been close to my mother.
There’s some kind of confusion going on in my head, I can’t get my act together, my thoughts are losing track, even now I’m writing and I don’t understand what I’m writing about. It feels like I can't keep up the conversation. What a pity that we don’t know what happens after death, what if it’s bad there, and my mother is now suffering. What if it’s good there and, on the contrary, she’s better there?
I don’t understand and don’t know what to hold on to and cling to. What if there is nothing after death, and mom just disappeared. I just want to know that she's doing well. I just want her to be next to me or me to be next to her. I don’t know how I can continue to live, and what I should do now. I’m actually not afraid of death, test-antibiotic.com would leave if I knew that I would get to her and we would be together, but I don’t know what happens after death. What if there is nothing there, and it will be meaningless, and we will never see each other. What if we really never see each other, it turns out that this is the end and everything is over and I will no longer see her eyes, her hands, I will not feel her smell.
How to live with this for the rest of your life? When will I feel better, when will the pain go away?
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