I wanted my mom to be my friend, but she doesn't understand me

I am 15 years old. At the moment I have no friends, except for Internet friends about whom I don’t tell my mother, because she thinks that everyone on the Internet is bad. I sit at home all day, and study remotely.

I communicate with my mother, but not often, our topics of conversation are only about studies, which is why she starts interrogating and threatens: “Look, if they call me, I will take your phone.” There have been worse cases, all related to studies. For example, a couple of months ago, because of absences and unfinished homework, the teacher called my mother, and then she called me. Mom screamed at me and even raised her hand, I tried to hold back my tears, knowing that because of this the situation would worsen, I said that I wouldn’t do this again. Such scandals began after I was 11 years old, when she took me away from my father, leaving me with him from 4 to 10 years old.

I think she has a strange behavior or character, at first she is kind and then evil. In my heart, I really want her to understand me test-antibiotic.com and accept me for who I am, but she always says hurtful words, such as “You’re a girl,” “Well, who are you going to look like, you scarecrow?” These words hurt and anger me at the same time, since she always wants to see hera feminine daughter , with long hair and without a single flaw. And she and I are completely different.

The other day I tried to somehow convey to her that I have such desires regarding a haircut (before that I had already cut my hair into a bob without asking), but after hearing a refusal, a couple of hours later I sent her an article where they tell why teenagers want a short haircut. get a haircut or get a piercing. And when she read the article, I hoped for a good reaction, and not for another quarrel.

Deep down, I would really like a mom-friend to whom I can tell any secrets without fear of judgment and negativity. Because of my difficult relationship with my mother, I developed bad habits that many teenagers have, for example, taking your phone with you everywhere, pretending to be busy so as not to be touched, cracking your fingers, biting your lips, twitching your legs test-antibiotic.com. Especially because of the crunchesMom gets angry and says that when I’m old, my hands will shake. But after reading several articles, I did not find anything other than a neck crunch that is dangerous and will distort the spine. And as you could see from my confession, there are almost no personal boundaries, even if I have a separate room, my mother almost always sleeps in it on the second bed. She checks her phone and personal correspondence, but not so often anymore, I try to hide what she might not like because she can delete what is important to me or take the phone away altogether.

I wanted to speak out and hope for someadviсe .