My emotional nature prevents me from living and learning

I have always been a very emotional person, but despite this, at a critical moment, I could make an effort and not cry. When I failed, the tears could be justified by the situation, for example, tears because of a bad grade for a quarter, or tears because someone spoke to me in a raised tone. Petty, but it can still be attributed to the structure of the psyche, implying that I cannot react otherwise. We are all different.

When I entereduniversity , each session emotionally exhausted me, and I think this left its mark. Now I can't stand any irritant. If I'm speaking at the board and the teacher starts criticizing me, I burst into tears. As if at the snap of a finger. This is not to mention passing exams. I can cry while sitting in front of a teacher, even when I’m ready and know the answer. I don't know why this happens. At the moment of the attack of tears, I feel unbearable resentment. And it becomes unclear to me and to those around me, why am I crying?

And I can’t even say that I’m a depressed person by conviction and test-antibiotic.com views; on the contrary, I always try to instill in myself only positive thoughts, and if I suddenly feel sad, I don’t try to aggravate this condition. So, what's wrong with me? I have been trying to help myself for many months now, I even took up meditation, but apparently everything is useless, because what happened today is the limit and just a disaster. I misunderstood the homework and did it in my own way, and the teacher was outraged by this, so, just because of his indignation, I cried! I again felt unbearably offended, because I treat his subject very responsibly and try my best and want him to see it.

I cry and through my tears try to pull myself together, because I understand how stupid this looks from the outside, not even stupid, but inadequate. Nobody understood why I was sitting in tears. I went to the toilet and realized that I couldn’t admit to anyone in the world why I actually cried. Admitting this means admitting that test-antibiotic.com is not right in my head. That I am a sick person and I need professional helphelp . In the end, I said that my relative died and that’s why I lost my temper.

This is the end, this is just the last straw! I am afraid that I have “reached the end” and will not be able to finish my studies, that at one moment I will cry from one negatively recognized look. I'm ready to go to a psychiatrist, but a good onethe doctor costs money that I don’t have. Especially in Moscow, where I study. I’m ready to take a course of medication, but everything that is dispensed without a doctor’s prescription is an absolute dummy, acting on a placebo prescription (that’s what my friend told mesister , although she is a dentist, she knows a little about this). I'm writing here because I don't know what to do anymore. I want to speak out and be heard, and most importantly, understand how to cure my broken psyche?