What was she thinking before?

Five years ago I married a young girl. I am much older than her. A year later, our wonderful daughter was born. At that time, I was in charge of one of the large companies, worked a lot, traveled a lot, because I really liked this job, and the income was quite high. I will say that at the time of the beginning of our life together, I already had everything for a wealthy family. At the initial stage, my wife also worked in this company, and it seemed to me that she liked it, she constantly improved her skills, was respected in the team.

After the birth of the child, the wife seemed to have been replaced. With any minor conflict, she was already packing her bags and running away to her mother. At first I tried to return it, took the blame on myself, but then I realized that this was just a game of feelings.

In 2020, a pandemic happened, and it so happened that my wife and I ended up in different cities. She and her child once again lived with her mother-in-law. Communication relations were good, but something disturbed me in her behavior. I tried to  ask you  what was the matter, and after three months I heard that she was not going to return, and wants a divorce. I had to somehow be calm and still convince my wife to come back and try to fix our relationship. Mother-in-law was against it.

With the first opportunity to travel during the pandemic, I arranged for my wife and child to come home. I met them as welcome, but I felt that a completely different wife had returned. Especially in bed. She was not with me. Later, demands that I didn’t understand began that she no longer wants to work, give her money weekly for her personal needs, as her friend’s husband does,I started drinking wine, although before that I didn’t even want to sip. Became bold in conversations.

Yes, I did not demand that she work from marriage, it was her initiative. As for the money, so take it, as the nightstand says, just say so. In all other respects, rest, car, clothes, she was provided better than her friends. What I also noticed was her constant weaning to the toilet room or to  you in  another room with constant calls or messages on her phone. The phone is constantly in hand, on silent mode. I am not a jealous husband at all, and I allowed a lot to my wife, I trusted. But when there is a specific reason, I have specific questions. All this led to the fact that we decided to live separately, and later we parted, and she again went to her mother. With my daughter, as always happens, we were separated, even for communication.

After a while, I found out that my guesses about the betrayal of my wife at the time of the pandemic were justified. She started an affair with one young, handsome guy, who was also married, and directly dreamed of divorcing him from his wife in order to be together. And who do you think passed it on? Of course, best friends who cannot look at their girlfriend without envy if she feels good. Everything was arranged so that I would know. I must say right away that these are not rumors, but evidence in all details, which I will not write about. I loved her very much, experienced this fact, was in a deep depression, live  you did not want. If you want another, finish beautifully with the old one and go, enjoy your new life. So no, you need to make it as painful as possible. So much dirt, and unflattering words, she and the mother-in-law uttered in my address to her friends, relatives. I also allowed them to express themselves in my address.

I have lived through all this. Now two years alone, did not want any other relationship. Now, when two years have passed, my ex, having achieved nothing in her personal life, and even more so with the one she so desired (played around and left), having an abortion from him, working it is not clear where and by whom, she shows a desire to return to me. She says that she regrets that she listened to her mother and friends, made a mistake, the child loves her father very much and wants to see him (this is really true, not the words of her mother), wants to forget about everyone and everything, and live only with our family.

She is probably ready to forget everyone and everything, and I? All I see as positive is the return of the child. And how to live with the ex-wife? How to forget betrayal, betrayal? How does she imagine that  tomorrow I  will calmly look into the eyes of those whom she allowed to think badly of me, or tomorrow I will again be a good person for them? How can I appear tomorrow in her city, where everyone knows me (I am a public person in this city), walk with her happy by the hand, and feel that they are looking at you as if they were deceived, look in everyone that this is her former lover? I know for sure that I won't be able to survive this.

I wonder if she understands? How does it all represent? First, she cheated on me, defamed me, and then together, as if nothing had happened? Stupid question: "what was she thinking before?".