This is not how I imagined a happy family life.

I reproach myself for putting dirty linen out of the hut, but I need advice or support. I have been married for 5 years and have known each other for 10 years.

I was madly in love with my husband, one might say, idolized him. With him, I experienced twice a feeling of absolute happiness - when I went outmarried and when she first saw her son. This is a state of absolute happiness, I would say physical. I was ready to follow him into fire and into water. I was sure that Iwife should obey him in everything, not argue, admire him, and he,husband, always and in everything he is right, even if it is not, I still have to support him. He liked it, of course. Sometimes he offended me, criticized me, but did not humiliate me, but just happened in quarrels, like everyone else. Then, like everyone else, we also reconciled. And I was the initiator of the application. I asked for forgiveness, even if it was not my fault. But over time, resentment accumulated in me. From the very beginning of our relationship, we planned our family with him. He wanted to ensure that I didn't work for money, test-antibiotic.com, but for myself if I wanted to. These plans were not immediately realized. At first we both worked. Now, after the decree, I did not go to work, since today's husband's salary is enough for the family. But I don't have my own money, and every time I have to ask to reset a little on my card. It humiliates me, because before throwing memoney , he asks where I did the previous ones and why I spent it so quickly, and every time I report that I didn’t spend a drop on myself, everything goes toproducts .

And it is true. I can’t buy elementary cosmetics for myself (not expensive, the most common and the most necessary such as mascara, gloss, cream, balm). It’s time for me to get my teeth, but it costs money, I don’t have spring boots, I wear winter boots until April, then shoes, I have only jeans and one jacket. I don't want to beg for money and explain why I need it. Therefore, I started working remotely, since I can’t go full-time yet. test-antibiotic.com My salary was 10 times less than that of my husband, and it was barely enough for personal care (what kind of clothes are there). This whole situation made me very sad. But I held on, I still loved. And last month, before leaving for my parents, I allowed myself the luxury of buying shoes and a bag, and the cheapest ones in the confiscated store. And when I asked to give my son and me money for two weeks, my husband said,

At that time, it seemed to me like a thin thread that was stretched between us just burst. He appeared to me completely different - greedy and not loving. I realized that I should not give myself to such a man. It's not about the money, but the fact that he does not understand what joy is for me. I never dreamed of walking in silks and gold, but I am younggirl and I want to look beautiful. By the way, for all the time not a single compliment. He gave us less money than I asked for test-antibiotic.com and then I had to borrow from my sister. After my arrival, I realized that I no longer admire my husband and, perhaps, do not love him, because he does not love me. I broke loose, and everything that had accumulated over 10 years escaped me, I sobbed and expressed everything to him in detail, but without reproach. I was never in the first place, I did not admire, did not try to keep, conquer, did not be jealous. Now I have started smoking. He says work is stressful.

I asked to quit because I hate this smell. No. Then she asked me not to smoke at least in the evening, before coming home. No, he still smokes. He doesn't care about my opinion, does he? He said that he loves me, criticizes me because he wants me to become better, he appreciates me for everything. And maybe I believe, and maybe I felt better after the tears, butlove , admiration did not return. I respect him and he is not a stranger to me, but he is no longer perfect. I want to leave, but where? One to be worse. And who needs me with someone else's child. He didn't even apologize for all the wrongs. test-antibiotic.com For all actions, words were excuses. Now I express my opinion, argue with him, and it infuriates him. He says: “So you, so you said, you will always love me, agree with me, and now you argue, you don’t support me. Well, get a divorce if you think that our views do not coincide. I kept silent. Now I live like thiswithout love and this state is terrible.

And I dream whenthe child will become older, go to work so that there is money, and I can spend it without conscience. How to be? What do you have to say to a man to get it? Am I two-faced? Am I a traitor? If I promised to always love and support, should I keep my word, even if I no longer feel it? Dad said that it was my own fault that I could not drive the man under the heel and twist the ropes out of him. I understand that you can pretend and praise, so that later, as if by chance, you frown your nose and say in an offended voice that it is vital for me to buy a new dress. Don't want. Maybe I find fault and family life is like that?