My boyfriend's weird attitude towards me

My problem has been tormenting me for almost a month now, and I needhelp . I am 21 years old. Last year in September I met a guy and immediately fell in love. Of course, I didn’t count on reciprocity, but everything changed a month after we met. We lived in a student dorm, our rooms were opposite him, and so things started to happen. He is 22, he became my first man. Not knowing how to behave with him after what happened, I stayed in his room, and it so happened that we started living together. Of course, this is very stupid and wrong, and now I understand it perfectly, I understand that I made a big mistake.

During the year we spent together, he introduced me to his mother, we celebrated the New Year at his house, and he also met my parents. In addition, he took me to the village, to see my relatives, and introduced me to everyone. A year passed, summer came, he graduateduniversity and moved out of the dorm, found an apartment, a job and started living with my friend. I went to my hometown test-antibiotic.com for the summer and came to visit him, of course, at his request. We called on Skype and corresponded. But, after a month and a half, he told me that I was pestering him. He told me everything that was tormenting him. It turned out that he did not want to live with me, but did not talk about it so as not to offend me. That's how he explained it. OnWhen asked if he felt something for me, he said yes.

But he didn’t say what exactly. In addition, he said that it was very difficult for him to be with me all the time. He said that I allegedly didn’t even ask him anything about living together, I just fell in and started living with him. Yes, we never discussed this, and I didn’t ask him anything, but I thought he needed it. In addition, he said that he was stuck at work, had no money for food, that hehis mother is getting to the bottom of him (hissister comes outget married ), “and you’re also getting married.” Of course, this offended me very much, but I told test-antibiotic.com him that I understood everything and accepted that I would not cry. When asked if we were together, he replied that he would find outhe has no time for relationships , and he is very tired.

After this conversation, a couple of days passed, I moved into the hostel again, because... I'm a final year student. When I came to him to get my things (I left them with him for the summer, because students are evicted from the dorm for the summer), he behaved completely as usual, as if that conversation simply had not happened. In addition, even before the conversation, he invited me to his sister’s nikah, and this invitation was valid. There he introduced me to absolutely all his relatives, his mother told everyone that I was supposedly her futuredaughter-in-law , which amazed me. He reacted completely normally to her statement.

However. I am tormented by the uncertainty of our relationship. I don’t understand whether he loves me or is pretending, he doesn’t want to offend me. He rarely writes or calls me, he only comes when I ask him to. He doesn’t leave her at his place overnight, even after sex. test-antibiotic.com He doesn’t talk about his feelings for me, although when I told him that I loved him, he responded in kind. In addition, he began to communicate very closely with our mutual friend. Although I don't think there is anything between them. I am tormented by a feeling of uselessness, a feeling of loneliness, a feeling of mistrust in him. I don’t believe that he loves me, that he values ​​me, I just don’t believe it. Because of my worries, I lost 5 kilograms; I just didn’t feel like eating.

It’s a little easier now, but still. I don’t know how to find out what he feels for me, whether he needs me at all. He is not interested in my life when we meet, he only talks about himself, about his work, about his affairs. He is often rude, even if he doesn’t understand it. I swallow everything and endure it. I don’t know what to think, what to do. It’s very hard and painful for me, but I can’t tell him anything, I’m afraid of losing him, I’m afraid that he won’t understand, I’m afraid that we will break up.
Or maybe I’m just making things up, and all this seems to me test-antibiotic.com. I don't know. I'm confused.