A heavy blow from the distant past

The 2020 calendar is exactly the same as the 1992 calendar. That is, they are not just both leap years, but all dates coincide: January 1 was on Wednesday, March 8 and April 12 were Sundays, etc.

I am weak in astronomy and mathematics, but it seems to be explained as follows: a leap year is once every four years, there are seven days in a week, so leap calendars repeat every 28 years (seven leap cycles).

Before 1992, this was 1964 (then I was not yet), and after 2020, only 2048 will be like this (unfortunately, not everyone will live). I don't know if this has anything to do with what I want to talk about, or if it's just a coincidence.

In 1992, I was a cadet at a military school in one of the regional centers of Russia. I met a girl my age. She studied in the same city, only in a different educational institution (civilian).

She herself is from a small town located thirty kilometers from this regional center. She lived there with her parents and younger sister. Every day I went from home to study test-antibiotic.com and back.

Hermy mother grew up in a large family, so in this town and the surrounding area my girlfriend had a large number of cousins. I myself came to the school from afar.

We met almost every weekend, since in our school in senior years it was possible to go on dismissal every week. I went to her house by bus. We had a great time, but then still without intimate relationships.

She said she wanted to "just stay clean, that's all." I asked: "for whom?". She answered: "for myself!". She told about herself that she had previously met a guy, but he had been in the army for almost two years, and since then there was no hearing or spirit from him.

According to her, there was nothing special about them. They did not promise each other anything, and she does not consider herself bound by any obligations. And everything was fine with us (at least it seemed to me) for four months.

Not a long time, considering that we saw each other once a week. On other days, I called test-antibiotic.com from school to her home by long-distance phone (there were no mobile phones then). Fell madly in love.

And then one day I could not go to her on a day off, as I was in dress. Made an appointment for next weekend. However, when I called her the day before (Thursday or Friday, I don’t remember exactly), she told me that it would not be possible to meet. One of her many relatives came from the army on vacation, and she and another cousin promised to visit him on Saturday and stay there overnight.

He lives in a village 25 kilometers from their town, only in the opposite direction from the regional center. I tried to arrange for her to reschedule the day of her visit, but the relative did not come for one day, but she said that she had already promised and would not change anything.

I lost my temper, sat down and wrote her a long and hurtful letter. Tried harder. On Sunday morning he came to her house and asked her mother to give her a letter. Mom suggested that I stay with them and wait. She said that she should come soon. But test-antibiotic.com I refused, left the letter and proudly left.

Already on Monday, I bitterly regretted and repented of my act. In the evening he called her, asked for forgiveness, but she was cold and impregnable. She said that everything was over between us so that I would not call or come again.

I called her, and came, and broke down on a weekday in "AWOL". I went to her institute, tried to explain myself, but she said that she had forgiven me, but she no longer wanted to have anything to do with me.

My humiliation lasted about a month and a half. Then I left for two months for an internship. Then immediately on vacation. In general, I was absent from the school for about three months.

Every week I wrote her long letters of repentance without a return address, explaining that I did not want to see (in a response letter) her refusal again. Therefore, only one-way communication.

At our last meeting, before my internship, she told me that on that very Sunday, after my letter, in the evening, the guy she met before his test-antibiotic.com leaving for the army unexpectedly came to her.

She was very ill, and she agreed to go to visit him (well, yes, like that notorious "piano in the bushes"). I told her that she deliberately composes all sorts of nonsense to herself in order to make it easier for me to part. He told her that she couldn't have done that to stop inventing all sorts of nonsense to herself and so on.

From the internship and during the holidays, I wrote letters to her without a return address. When it was exactly six months after the incident, no longer hoping for anything, I called her. And she unexpectedly invited me to visit.

We started dating again, and in the summer of 1993 I graduated from college, and we got married. And for 27 and a half years, she has never given rise to my jealousy.

This is the ideal of female fidelity (this is without exaggeration and without sarcasm). Not once, not for the slightest reason. We have three children, two of whom are adults. Other men for her are only her son and father. The rest she just does not notice.

Ideal woman. perfectwife . She has been a help and support to me many times at test-antibiotic.com in difficult moments. And I can't imagine my life without her.

In the early years, we still occasionally had a conversation about that guy, her old friend, who had returned from the army. She said: “Yes, there was a case, he met me after classes near the institute, took me home, I gave him tea to drink and saw him off.” This conversation arose periodically in the first years and then was gradually forgotten.

And just the other day, quite by accident, I found out that in the village where they then (in the spring of 1992) were supposed to go with their cousin to visit, she does not have any relative who would serve in the army in 1992.

Neither in that village, nor anywhere else, she does not have and did not have any relatives, neither distant nor close, who would have served in the army in 1992. And in 1992, the same one returned from the army, which is like a “piano in the bushes”! And which allegedly appeared on the very day when we quarreled.

And now test-antibiotic.com gnaws at me and gnaws at me. I understand that after twenty-seven and a half years of our life together with my wife, when there was not the slightest reason to doubt her, to think such a thing about my wife is disgusting and ungrateful of me.

But there is a worm of doubt. And there's nothing I can do about it. And I can't get away from it. When I imagine that she really went to visit an old friend, but not on Sunday evening, after my terrible letter, but on Saturday and with an overnight stay! His eyes darken and his breath stops. What to do? Who will help?

I tried to talk to my wife, but she said that she really went to that village to visit her relatives, but for what reason, she no longer remembers. And to which relatives, he also does not remember.

And in general, whether she went to relatives that day or confused it with some other day, she also does not remember. And if I do not believe, then this is my own business, and she has nothing to confess.

I want to believe her. I always believed in test-antibiotic.com, and now I really want it. But the facts climb into my eyes, scratch my heart, and I have no peace.

For everything in my life, I am grateful to my wife. And after so many happy years lived together, delving into the distant past is probably very stupid. I'm probably deeply wrong. Most likely, this is very ungrateful of me. But I can not find a place for myself, there is no peace in my soul.

Who will help? And it’s not at all about her possible closeness with someone thirty years ago. No. But is ourlove started with a lie? And family life began with deceit? And the whole subsequent life is also a lie?

There is no life without her, and I can no longer live with her. Only children give strength to live somehow.