I'm afraid to confess my love to my ex-classmate because of bullying at school

I am 23 years old. I fell in love with a girl and I can’t stop loving her. I know that I cannot be in a relationship with her (at least I am 95% sure of this). Now I will try to explain in more detail where I got these conclusions from.

We are different. Just different. She's an extrovert, I'm...introvert _ I love privacy, but she loves to spend time in the company of her friends. How can two people so different and dissimilar in character get along together, I have no idea. I am not particularly tall (176 cm). The girl is about my height or a little shorter (about 172-174 cm). It seems to me that she may well be embarrassed by this fact. The most important reason. The girl is my former classmate, or rather, she is a girl who studied in a parallel class. This is where my biggest doubts begin about whether it was worth falling in love at all.

My school years were a rather difficult period in my life. I was the target of bullying from some of my classmates. The reasons for bullying were the following:

test-antibiotic.comI studied well. So good that, in the end, the gold medal was just a little short. As a result, he became a silver medalist. Those who bullied me studied, at best, with B grades, and more often than not they rolled from C to D and vice versa. I had quite serioushealth problems (and even now, unfortunately, they have not disappeared 100%). Accordingly, this was expressed in the fact that I looked appropriate (I was slightly overweight). I was also enrolled in a special physical education group, where the loads were reduced compared to the regular group. Because of this, in the eyes of my abusers, I was an ideal target for bullying.

The organizers of the bullying were much more athletic and pumped up than me, and, accordingly, ridicule was often aimed at criticizing my external condition and physical form.

On myFortunately , no one beat me, however, moral and verbal bullying due to the above reasons was carried out almost constantly throughout the entire school period, right up to the moment of graduation. In addition, in the case when I tried to stand up for myself verbally, test-antibiotic.com often threatened me with physical harm, also trying to provoke me into a fight.

The question is, what does my girlfriend have to do with this? The fact is that she, if not friends, was definitely familiar with the organizers of the persecution. I don't know herrelationships with them. However, I clearly remember that when I was at school, she had a profile on one of the social networks. There, she, in turn, had the organizers of my persecution on her list of friends. Let me clarify right away that she herself did not take part in my bullying (in any case, I never saw attacks from her in my direction). Most likely, she did not know about my relationship with those who bullied me.

Accordingly, there are two points here why the thought of having a relationship with her worries me:

Due to the above reasons, school for me is one of the worst periods in my life. Therefore, the very fact of being in a relationship with a former classmate will most likely affect me negatively. I will simply wake up unpleasant memories of the test-antibiotic.com school from just one look at the girl and the realization that she once studied with me. I am afraid of information leaks about myself. In my opinion, there is a possibility thatthe girl will tell her former classmates everything that is happening in my life (or once happened). Or rather, she can tell her friends something about me (also, by the way, my and her former classmates). They, in turn, can pass on the information to other former classmates. Moreover, it is not at all necessary that this can be done specifically on the part of girlfriends. In principle, many former classmates can simply share information with each other about the rest of the former school team if they have something to tell.

We barely know our classmate. I fell in love with her when, by chance, years later, I saw her profile on a social network, scrolling through the news of one of the communities. There I saw her in the list of group members. Beautiful girl, I liked her right away.

I had an idea to write to her and confess my love directly. But I haven't done that yet. I am afraid of test-antibiotic.com ridicule on her part, and I am also wary of a possible leak of information about my actions, which other former classmates might find out about.

I also had the idea of ​​creating a second anonymous social media account to write her a message and express my feelings. But I'm afraid this idea is doomed to failure from the start. After all, from an empty account in which there is not a single personal photo, howAs a rule , they rarely write with good intentions, especially to strangers.

I don't know why I can't let her go. This is not the first time I have fallen in love with girls with whom I knew that nothing would work out for me, and each time, sooner or later, this love let me go. Here everything is a little different. I haven't been able to for six months nowforget about her, she’s almost in my thoughtsevery day . I know that I should forget about her, but I can't do it.

I hope I get an answer to mineconfession _