The story of naive and unhappy love

Мне 21 год. Оканчиваю университет, иду на красный диплом. Живу один в Москве на съемной квартире. Подрабатываю (теперь уже подрабатывал) в рекламном агентстве.

Вся моя прежняя жизнь была полностью посвящена учебе и широкому кругу различных интересов – от философии и литературы до истории и архитектуры. Шумных компаний не переношу, всегда ограничивал себя самым узким кругом друзей, среди которых непременно пользовался уважением и доверием. Все это не мешало время от времени появляться на моем горизонте различным поклонницам, но всякую претензию на любые отношения я прерывал в самом начале: я всю жизнь мечтал встретить только ту единственную, с которой у меня было бы все от начала до конца и на всю жизнь.

И я ее встретил. Это произошло в июне этого года. С самого первого взгляда я понял: это она. Высокая, тонкая, стройная, до умиления хрупкая, грациозная, с большими голубыми глазами, длинными светлыми волосами и утонченными жестами (она балерина), она плыла по мостовой как лебедь (позже я так ее и называл: моя лебедушка). Я никогда не test-antibiotic.com видел таких красивых людей, она полностью отразила тот образ, который я неоднократно ассоциировал с идеальной внешностью девушки.

Сам не понимая как это произошло, будто во сне, я подошел к ней, поздоровался и завязал непринужденный разговор на отвлеченные темы. Она была не против и уже через пару часов мы с ней беседовали, как старые добрые друзья. Будучи увлеченными новым знакомством, в тот день мы обошли пешком весь Арбат.

Вернувшись домой, я понял: да, это та самая – единственная. Она подходила мне во всем: и внешне, и характером, и по своим редким и своеобразным интересам, и по возрасту (ей 17), и по взглядам на жизнь. Все совпало с моими увлечениями и темпераментом! Единственное, что мне не понравилось, так это то, что за неделю до нашего знакомства ее бросил прежний парень. Но я не придал этому значения.

За июнь мы с ней очень сдружились. Не было ни одного дня, чтобы мы не выходили прогуляться (как оказалось, у нее очень строгие, но при этом интеллигентные родители, которых она боялась обидеть test-antibiotic.com присутствием нового парня, но я был только «за», ведь, как мне казалось, у порядочных родителей должна быть и соответствующая дочь). В начале июля во время одной из таких прогулок я ей как бы невзначай сказал, что у меня есть девушка, которая мне очень нравится, и описал ее саму. Она, конечно же, все поняла и заметно оживилась. Стала настаивать, чтобы я ей во всем признался, а на всякие мои опасения о возможном отсутствии взаимности, уверяла, чтобы я отбросил подобные сомнения. На следующий день я расписал целый сценарий признания и вечером воплотил его в жизнь. Она была тронута. Так наши отношения перешли на следующий уровень.

Until about mid-September, everything was wonderful. We walked around the city all day long and chatted on Skype at night. I wrote her poems, gave her various gifts, made surprises, showered her with compliments. She said that no one had ever treated her like that before, and I was happy. The feeling grew stronger. In August, I even quit my job to be with her as long as possible. There were times when we didn’t even sleep at night, communicating on the Internet, fooling around, and in a fit of revelation, making plans for life.

By the beginning of September, all this had reached its climax. AlmostEvery day we had a significant date: the day of our first meeting, the day of confession, the day I kissed her hand for the first time, on the cheek (we didn’t kiss on the lips, because I initially assured her that I would never insist on anything, everything would happen only with her personal consent), the day of her blue eyes (yes, there was such a thing). Every day I promised her that I would always be with her, and she only sighed: “I hope so.” However, she also promised to wait for me “as long as it takes” when I went into the army. We even planned how our wedding would go, how many children we would have, and what their names would be.

In September, I skipped classes and ran to her school, where during breaks she introduced me to her friends. I was surprised when in the evening these sameMy friends even started calling me and giving me advice on how to win their friend's favor. test-antibiotic.com And at night, ignoring my term paper, I wrote her poems on 10 pages and sent them by regular mail.

But in mid-September, something went wrong. One fine Saturday morning, while talking on the phone, I noticed that she had a suspiciously sad voice. As it turned out, her ex-boyfriend appeared under the windows of her house with his friends and invited her to go for a walk. She was not against it, but because of some household chores, she never managed to get away with them outside. This made me very wary. I had been afraid before that when she returned to school and met her ex, she would flare up with her old feelings again and go back to him. She always dispelled such fears in an instant, saying, he left me, I hate him and will never go back to him, because I have you! Believe me! And I believed.

The whole day after that she was kind of exhausted, rushing about, thinking about something. And in the evening she announced: tomorrow I'm going to his dacha with my ex-boyfriend and five of his friends! Naturally, I started to get indignant - there's no point for a decent girl to go to a dacha with guys she barely knows.

But she did leave. I don't know what happened there, but after that, she became colder and more indifferent to me with each passing day. By the end of September, she stopped going out for walks, blaming it on her constant busyness, and later, she stopped answering calls and messages on the Internet altogether. Without any explanation: I'm busy and that's it! She told me not to pick her up from school anymore, because suddenly her parents would find out.

I started asking her friends, who had recently given meadvice . But they also seemed to avoid me. Then I started to worry, trying to get her to talk. But she just said: "Oh, I'm just tired, I have a lot of studying, that's it, leave me alone." As a result, we stopped communicating altogether on weekdays. Then I couldn't stand it any longer and went to her friend to sort everything out. And what did I hear? "You see, it's the 21st century now and we all have the right to do what we want." I didn't understand anything test-antibiotic.com and went to my girlfriend with these words. She just shrugged her shoulders at this phrase. Then I got furious and stopped writing to her, calling her, etc. In three days of silence, she wrote only twice: "Hi" and "Where did you disappear to?"

And then I came to her and asked for forgiveness for not trusting her and for making scenes. But she was unperturbed. I even knelt down, but she looked down on me. And then she said: "You ruined everything with this!" And everything that followed was like a fog. I asked for forgiveness, begged her to start all over again, and she seemed to forgive (although who should forgive whom?).

In two days it was her birthday . I had a nice present for her. With the best of intentions I came to the restaurant where she was sitting with her friends. But then something terrible happened. Her friends suddenly started making fun of me. I also started laughing to keep up the conversation. Then these jokes gradually became offensive. Then they became downright vulgar. I was already sitting there confused and test-antibiotic.com staring at this whole circus with my mouth open. They were screaming hysterically at me all over the restaurant, and my girlfriend was choking with laughter. I quietly asked her, "What is this?" But then she showered me with a string of strong words. I left feeling very stupid.

I didn't sleep for 3 days thinking about what happened. During that time she didn't even write to me. Then I called her friend. I don't know why. But she said: "Of course, forgive me. But don't you understand? You've got her fed up with your love. And she loves someone else! So she asked us to insult you, since you don't understand lighter hints."

These words made my legs give way. I came to the girl and said: "I know everything!" But she looked at me indifferently. "I know about the guy!" But she began to assure me that there was no guy at all. Then I asked about what happened 3 days ago. And she? "Are you offended? These are jokes! Can I have some fun? You have no sense of humor at all." test-antibiotic.com It was as if she wanted me to say that everything was over. And I believed her, I wanted to believe that it was a joke and about the guy - also a joke. And again I asked her for forgiveness.

And a week ago I saw her with a guy. No, not her ex, but some fat Georgian or Armenian. Hairy, black, with long greasy hair, in shabby and saggy clothes, he was walking and laughing at the whole street with a bottle of beer in his hand. And she was walking with this monster - this angel. And then he started kissing and squeezing her, and she just giggled! God, I couldn't even allow the thought of touching her in any wrong way, I considered it blasphemous to defile this angel with a kiss, I chose every word when communicating with her! And this animal was pawing at her and crawling towards her with his thick sweaty lips!

I filmed it on my phone and left. Then I wandered around all night in the pouring rain, wanting to get wet and freeze to death under some fence.

For several days test-antibiotic.com I was lying in delirium, but no one even found out about it, she didn’t even care where I was at all. She simply forgot about me. 4 days ago I sent her these photos asking her to explain everything. And I received: “Dude, 21st century, why are you so correct? Let me have some fun!” I became even more despondent.

And yesterday afternoon I met her on the street. She responded to my greeting with a sharp: "Yeah, hi," without even looking at me. She had already called him her boyfriend. Then I asked her why she hadn't even explained anything to me? "What should I explain to you?" At least the reason why I was doing it wrong? "That's how I wanted it! I have the right!" Then I tried to convince her that the only thing this tramp wanted from her was to take advantage of her. To which she replied, "Let him take advantage, I love him!" My jaw dropped to the ground, and all logic went to hell. In the end, I began to assure her that he would leave her tomorrow. And she sent me to a very unpleasant place.

I test-antibiotic.com also tried to write something to her, that you can't give vows of eternal love to three guys in a row in just five months! That there is no such fleeting love, that it is notlove . And received only a new portion of insults.

Now I'm sitting here and I don't know what to do. Two completely different people: that one, her summer version, and this one. An angel and a fallen angel. I quit my job because of her, I dropped out of school (how can I study here if I can't even eat or sleep?), and she did this to me. Why?

Even so, I will forgive her for this, because she is the one and only! There are no others like her. I don’t even want to look at others! Only her and no one else! But how can I get her back? She didn’t even explain why I was wrong…