I am attached to my boyfriend only because of loneliness

In 2013, I met a man on a dating site. I was in my last year at university, I was 23, he was 30. I didn't like him at our first meeting and when I came home, I told myself that he wasn't my type, he was too handsome, brutal, guys like him prefer tuned-up girls, not simpletons like me. But imagine my surprise when he called the next day and invited me to meet.

The first two months we met on neutral territory, there were no hints of a kiss, much less intimacy. And one evening I texted him that "if you don't kiss in time, you can remain friends forever." The next day he kissed me. He was my first man in terms of intimacy, and I told him about it only after we were in bed.

We continued dating, everything seemed fine, until one day I started to suspect him. I know that I shouldn't do this, but I went into hissocial networks . It turns out that he successfully continued to sit on the dating site test-antibiotic.com and social networks communicated with different girls. In general, throughout almost 6 years that we have been "dating" I have seen who he communicates with. He sleeps with many girls, although he denies it, to this day. At least, I know at least 10 girls.

His ex-wife, with whom he broke up because he did not marry her, also shows up. She left, went outgot married , gave birth to two children, but then I learn from his correspondence with her that she got divorced and, as I see, she is hoping that he will still be with her. They communicate very warmly with her, even with me there is no such communication. In his phone I am only listed as a number, and she is “Mine”. OthersGirls constantly communicate with him about intimacy, sex, and send him intimate photos.

We never lived together. When we started dating, he rented an apartment, and I sometimes stayed overnight with him, cooked for him constantly, washed, sewed, looked after household appliances, ironed (what a fool I am!). Then test-antibiotic.com he moved to the apartment where he grew up and now lives there with his brother. I live with my brother, and whenbrother at work he comes to me. I also cook for him constantly, feed him, do everything he needs. Very persistent in sex, although sometimes I don't want it, then he gets offended. By the way,sex with him has never been a pleasure for me, he is selfish in this regard and does only what pleases him. And lately, as soon as I imagine that this is coming, I don’t even want to undress once again, because I know that everything will follow the same scenario. Although he probably thinks of himself as a guru in sex. All our meetings now take place either at my place or on the street during walks. I am so tired of just wandering around the streets and listening to his philosophical conversations. We never go out with him except on the street.

He gets out of any situation, talks his way out of it, gets offended that I make claims against him. Throughout almost 6 years of our acquaintance, test-antibiotic.com he can afford to disappear for a week, and not even call, then show up as if nothing had happened. Knowing him, I sometimes understand that he wants to be alone. He is deeply interested in esotericism, reads a lot, goes to places of power, searches for himself. He does not work anywhere now. And he has never worked for anyone. He used to have his own business there, he earned well, but now things are not so good and I do not even know how he lives there.

By the way, he is a confirmed bachelor, does not want to get married or have children. I think that suits me, since I myself do not want this yet (even though I am already 28).

Why don't I break up with him? I don't know, something is holding me back, maybe it's just a simple attachment. I'm a lonely person, I have no friends, I don't communicate with anyone, he's the only one, maybe that's why. I don't know what to do. There's a lot more that I haven't written here, but that's the situation.