Doesn't hold and doesn't let go

God, I've already gone crazy, lost touch with reality. I'm writing here because I don't know who to talk to. You can read my first story here.

In general, after all this, he said that he would communicate with me, because I am not a stranger to him, but very close, and he cannot break everything off so suddenly. It became easier for him, and accordingly, for me. But the trouble is different - he does not hold on and does not let go. On weekdays, he calls, writes, comes, even stays overnight. At first, he asked not to say words of love, or even affectionate words, but now he himself says it all (rarely), and does not shy away from touching and does not push me away. Friday comes - there is no trace of him, he is either in bars or with friends. Sunday - the calls begin again, asking what I did, where I went. And again, week after week.

He doesn't promise anything specifically, he says that his friends won't understand him. And so even if we are together, it will only be if we move to another test-antibiotic.com city. But I don't know how long he will think about how everything will be next. And I decided to just not answer the calls. On another Friday he called me during the day, I didn't answer. The next call was on Sunday. I didn't answer that call either.

On Monday he came to my work, said that we shouldn't break everything off so suddenly, it's painful, and that we need to come to such decisions together. This time he stayed the night. We talked a lot, he asked if I wanted to be his wife, if I wanted children from him. He said that he goes out with friends on weekends toforget me, but he understands that you can't fool yourself and no one can replace me. He said that he needs time to forget mybetrayal , and maybe he can be with me again. But this is all just possible. He checked my phone from top to bottom, messages on social media accounts, suspected me of having someone. He also asked where I was on the weekend, took everything out of my bag, he had some kind of wild confusion. It seems he calmed down later, we talked again.

I asked him what he would do with his sister if he suddenly decided to be with me again, to which he replied that he would simply tell her and that's it. He said: I love you, you are only mine, and I will not let you go. I burst into tears.

It's hard for me to live like this. When I don't hear or see him, I can somehow forget myself, distracted by how he treated me. And it seems like I'm holding on, but as soon as he shows up, tears appear in my eyes, and his words make me shake. I can't sleep at night. I fall asleep in the morning, and wake up almost every half hour. I don't work properly at work, my head is foggy. Almost everything irritates me. And he doesn't sleep at night, just like me, he wakes up often. What should I do?