I can’t pull myself together and take care of myself

I can’t say exactly when it all started and how it will end. So what's all this? There is no history as such. There is just me, who cannot absolutely understand what is needed in life.

I don't have much to complain about. But, nevertheless, everything irritates me or causes complete indifference. If any spark appears, it goes out at the first collision with the wall. And this is probably where the problem lies. Around the wall. The feeling of hopelessness, where I can’t turn, what I won’t do, is dull everywhere, a bummer. Wonderful son. Darling . But very difficult. Behavior problems . I can’t imagine what to do, I give up. I'm afraid for himthe future because he is very smart. But he doesn’t want to study, he’s not interested. And no deals, promises or punishments help. My beloved person who pampers me as best he can. But there is no way to live together (well, not at all). I don’t know how long he’ll last like this. Job. Once madly loved and bringing in a normal income (that was enough for me, my mother and my child). But first, devaluation, which simply cut down everything almost three times test-antibiotic.com, and then a change of management. Instead of an adequate boss - a tyrant. Changing jobs is, of course, possible, but difficult, because my specialty is not particularly in demand.

And there’s always not enough time for anything. I look at the people around me - everyone is going somewhere: working out at the gym, getting their hair done in salons, meeting friends, in the end. I either don’t have enough money, or I just don’t have enough time. Work, then straight home, where there are lessons and a second job. And on weekends there is always a lot to do. I understand that the main problem is me. I see this in everything: I have become angry, I do not tolerate human meanness, I can quite sharply express my dissatisfaction with those around me. At the same time, I myself whine constantly, although I swear to bite my tongue every time, because people don’t like whiners. After all, she always stopped almost everyone who started crying to me for no reason. In short, the problem, as I already wrote, is clearly in me. But how to solve it? I feel like I'm stuck in the elevator of an abandoned building. There is no gap around the wall, no test-antibiotic.com air. And it’s useless to scream, no one will help.

However, I don’t have any suicidal thoughts! In no case! Even if they appear for a moment, it immediately disappears as soon as I look at my son. How is he without me? What about me without him? But what should we do? I never envied, even though my childhood was difficult, at times poor, but there was never envy. And now I notice this in myself. And I hate myself. I started gaining weight. Nowadays there are so many exercises that have been invented for almost 20-30 minutes a day and in a month or two or three you are in perfect shape. It would seem - take it and get busy, since you can’t afford a gym. But no! And I don’t find time for this. Tell me, I don’t want to? Everything is possible. And with my brain I understand that this cannot continue. But I can not!

I started looking for information on the Internet - how to pull myself together, articles, videos. I look, read all this and understand - these are all words. I can think the same way too. But no one can tell you how to start? Yes, overcome yourself, start, overcome. test-antibiotic.com I heard all this and even did it at one time. And it worked, but still, despite all this knowledge and even skills, now I’m just a rag! Even here, why I’m writing, I don’t know, because good and not so good readers will start writing the same thing, some sincerely with soul, some just as sincerely, but with bewilderment (they say, you’re a fool, it’s your own fault). But everything is the same: until I take charge of myself, no one will help me. That it's time to stop whining.

My dears, I know all this. But if before (and there were many different situations in life), I somehow found strength, and means, and methods, sometimes through force, throughpain . And now... I can’t do anything. I look at myself and realize that I am disgusted with myself. Even girly lotions like “treat yourself with a mask or scrub” don’t help. I’m tired of myself, my family and loved ones are already tired of me. I torture everyone.

Sometimes you wake up like a bird, with a winged spring on edge, and you want to live test-antibiotic.com and work. But by breakfast it goes away. Something like that…