I can't forget the pain my mother caused me

I don't like mine very muchmother since childhood. Yes, she bought me a lot of things, and I had everything that a child needed. But at the same time, my mother beat and humiliated me many times. What did I get it for? Mostly for the tears. There was one more incident. When I was in second grade, it was morning and my mother found out that I hadn't done my math. Mathematics was sometimes difficult, and this was the case when I did not understand the topic. My mother beat me, I cried, and with tears in my eyes I went to school.

There were a lot of humiliations directed at me. Mainly because of my appearance (my mother once asked me why I didn't like myself). Really, why? I have a curvature of the spine, I didn’t want to do gymnastics because I didn’t understand how important it was for me. The fact is that I still remember all this, when I do physical education, she told me that they would never take memarried​

My mother believes that it is strict test-antibiotic.comeducation makes you a person, which I cannot agree with at all. She tried to push me into her own framework, and she managed to do this, but then I realized all this, which I am glad about. She never supported me, she believed that I didn’t deserve good grades at school and so on.

Often I deceived her because I understood that there were things that I would never tell her. She doesn't know what personal boundaries are at all. When I tell her that I don’t want to talk about it, she starts pressing and digging in, and this makes me feel unpleasant. She also doesn’t like that I’m very inconvenient for her (because at one point I realized that I need to defend myself), and because of this she calls me selfish, thinks that I should have been beaten more in childhood, you see, I’ve become it would be better.

When I was little, I wanted to have a different mother, I did not understand why the parents of other children treated their children differently than my mother. She believes, test-antibiotic.com, that I should adapt to everyone, and this was reflected in my communication with other people; often I could not fight back other people. She also likes to manipulate me.

The fact is that now I have a huge grudge against my mother. I remember thisEvery day , often with tears, I try to work on this. Now I'm trying to minimize itcommunication , because for me communication with her is detrimental, my mood deteriorates. She continues to manipulate and humiliate me.

I don't know if I can work through all thatthe pain she caused me. I want to be happy.