Strong resentment towards parents

I am 33 years old, my daughter is 8 years old. I have a very strong resentment towards my parents and I don’t know how to get over it.

I grew up with my mother, father and grandmother. From early childhood, my grandmother took care of me, I was afraid of my mother, andMy father never took care of me. At school I was very insecure, downtrodden, and often ill. My mother demanded that I study excellently, and put a lot of pressure on me. She constantly complained to me about my grandmother, and tried to ruin ourrelationship , although my grandmother and I loved each other. After I entered college,Mom loosened her grip. I studied for free, started working early, always tried to be good for her.

At 24 I got outmarried . Mother was unhappy with the choice of the groom. Father didn't care at all, he was never interested in how I lived, never praised me for anything. As if I was a stranger to him. A year later, she was borndaughter . Before she was born we lived very well, but after she was born things startedproblems , started arguing with my husband. My mother persuaded me to file fordivorce . Now I understand how much test-antibiotic.com was influenced by her, as if I lived in her head. My husband and I got divorced, and I was left alone with a small child in my arms. I was very depressed.

I went to work andmother took on babysitting her granddaughter. Now I understand that she was the one in charge back then. She insisted that I withdraw my application from kindergarten and many other things. She manipulated me, and I, the fool, fell for it. She constantly complained that it was hard for her to babysit her granddaughter, that she was sacrificing herself.

My mother said and still says that I should never marry again. I shouldn't have any more children. And thata man is not needed at all, it is good to live alone independently. The maximum you can have is a lover and that's it. At the same time, she has been with her father for more than 40 yearsShe is married and has never lived alone, she doesn't even know what it's like.

Gradually after the divorce I began to come to my senses, worked a lot, exchanged an apartment, made repairs in order to live separately with my daughter in good conditions. Gradually I began to take care of the child myself more and more.

Last year I met a man, we fell in love and started a relationship. He is raising his son alone. During all the time that we have been together, we have become very attached to each other, the children have become friends, he treats my daughter very well, as I do his son. He is very caring, has no bad habits and we are good together. We want to create one family, but the difficulty is that we live in different cities. But we are sure that we will overcome this.

But my mother was against him from the start. Last year, in mybirthday she made such a scandal in front of him that the walls shook. She disgraced me, said a lot of nasty things about me to him. But for the first time in my life I insisted on my own and said that I would not break up with him. Then he tried to improve relations with her, but it was useless. She hates him and his son, insulted them constantly, even tried to slander him to her daughter. My father supported my mother. He said that it was better for me to be alone, since I had not found anyone test-antibiotic.com good. And so he said, live as you want, I don’t care. He does not hide his indifference and contempt for me.

I was so worried that I even fell ill from nerves. For me, strongthe pain is suchmy parents' attitude is like I'm the worstdaughter in the world. I couldn't understand why I had to live alone, why I didn't have the right to be happy, in their opinion? After all, before I met him, I started communicating with others, it didn't come to a relationship, my mother criticized everyone and forbade them.

I began to understand all this, and it was as if the scales fell from my eyes. For so many years I walked around like a donkey for carrots. It was convenient for me to depend on my mother, to live by her opinion, I considered myself stupid and weak. But she instilled this in me. How many scandals, manipulations, lies there were on her part. My grandmother told me a lot, my mother has not spoken to her for two years, does not look after her, although they live together. And my mother demanded that I stopcommunication with my grandmother. But I firmly stopped this test-antibiotic.com topic and take care of my grandmother myself. I started a separation course and radically changed my relationship with her. There is no trace of trust, as before. I am polite with her, I do not fall for manipulations. I do not tell her anything, I make all the decisions myself. I continue my relationship , but I have excluded the man's contacts with my parents. I did not have to change anything with my father, we hardly communicate anyway.

Mother became quiet, trying to be nice to me, trying to giveadvice on how to live, how to spend mymoney , but I ignore it. She still hopes that we will break up and I will be left alone, but she doesn’t tell me any more lies. I am sure that she will resume her intrigues. I understand that the only thing she does is see her granddaughter off and pick her up from school, I don’t have time because of work. That’s all. Soon she will start walking on her own. By the way, my daughter and my mother don’t get along at all.

I am glad that I was able to understand and admit that my parents do not love me and never loved me. Maybe there is something on their part, test-antibiotic.com but I definitely cannot understand such love. I work hard on myself so that I never repeat the mistakes with my child. But still, in my soul there is resentment towards my parents. Resentment and emptiness. I know that if something happens to them, I will still not abandon them. ButI can't forgive and get over this insult.