I understood why my husband cheated on me

It seems like a typical, banal situation. We had been married for 15.5 years. It seemed like a happy marriage.marriage , always and in everything together, still good intimacy andrelationship . And then a month ago I found out thatMy husband has another wife.

There were no scandals or showdowns. I was simply broken by all this, just a state of shock, prostration and a lot of wild endless pain. My husband did not ask for forgiveness, did not apologize, did not try to justify himself, he simply dumped everything on me. According to him, it was all my fault. I always showed my character and stuck to my guns, sometimes even insulting him and wiping my feet on him. And she loves him. She is affectionate, gentle and soft.

That's all. He didn't leave for her, he explained that he couldn't leave his children (we have two sons, 11 and 13). But he didn't finish anything with her either. He definitely keeps up the correspondence, but I don't know the rest, I haven't dug around and I don't want to know. Maybe he keeps going to her, that's most likely the case.

But test-antibiotic.com oddly enough, that's not the point. When I found out the truth and fell into depression, I tried to understand why I was being punished for this. I found the answer, albeit not right away. This is my second marriage. I divorced my first husband badly. The firstMy husband seemed to me to be a weak-willed man, without a backbone, and I wanted, like any woman, to feel weak, and for him to decide all important issues.

It all ended with us arguing, I left, slamming the door, and then cheated on him with a colleague from work who had had a crush on me for a long time. My husband found out about everything and didn't forgive me. I wouldn't have gone back myself. I was tired of that marriage. We got divorced.

There was no continuation with my colleague, then I met my future husband. I guess I am paying for that marriage now. The worst and most vile thing is that I am worth my current husband, I am the same and I acted the same way.

Now I feel very hurt and heavy because of my husband's betrayal. It hurts even more and is worse because I am the same. I live like this, trying to understand test-antibiotic.com what to do next and how to live with all this now. I pay for my own actions, and I howl inside because of all this.