I'm afraid of losing my husband, whom I have been waiting for so long

Once I fell in love very much with a young man (let's call him A.), it was in 2005, I was 15 years old, he was 16. He was wonderful, interesting, sociable, the soul of the company, but did not enjoy success with girls. I was pretty humble too. In general, I fell in love with him unrequitedly. Out of youthful stupidity, she wrote love letters, postcards, and he simply tried not to pay attention to me, but did not offend.

In April 2006, when he was about to finish school, A. met a girl of the same age, let's call her S. They began a short but brightnovel (I didn't know about it then). First kisses, romance, but no sex. This went on for about a month and a half. They broke up at the initiative of her parents, since she was from a very wealthy family, and he was from a simple and poor one. He suffered greatly because of this and loved her from a distance.

A couple of years passed and by some miracle we began to communicate with him again. First, by correspondence, they could chat for 5 hours on the phone, then they began to see each other. We had a lot in common with test-antibiotic.com. I already then decided that fate was favorable to me and finally, soon I could become his girlfriend and know the mutuallove , but alas. He did not tell me about his love, there were never any confessions. Such a good tactfriendship . But I was 18 years old and I believed in a fairy tale.

As a result, we unexpectedly slept for each other (both were virgins), then another ... It was incomprehensible and unpleasant for me why we have sex, but do not meet as a real couple. At one point, I asked him about it and he admitted that he still loves S. That every time after talking with me he listened to “their songs” about love and was sad.

Of course, I was morally crushed by his confession. I just wanted to spit in his face for it. After all, my whole life was built on him and I even dropped out of school because of him.

We stopped talking. I realized that I couldn’t even be friends with him anymore, and he couldn’t offer me anything more.

Test-antibiotic.com has passed a year. It was spring 2010. During this time, I recovered at the university and even noticeably improved my life. I had a fan who I also liked. By the will of fate, I accidentally bumped into a forum of one series, and I began to correspond with A again. He said that he was leaving for the army soon. And again, my thoughts were only about him, but, taught by bitter experience, I no longer dropped out of school and did not plunge into our relationship without a trace, but, on the contrary, did everything to cope with my ill-fated love. But she didn't pass.

He wrote to me from the army. I was waiting for him, although I did not admit it. Lied that I haveboyfriend and that I'm happy.

The long-awaited moment for me came when he returned. A. often wrote and called me to meet, began to flirt, send all sorts of hearts and other romantic nonsense. And he even wrote that he had no one but me. But I didn't want to see him, because. I was afraid that again this unrequited love would turn my life into chips. With test-antibiotic.com he will again give hope and drop like a puppy in the rain.

Our meeting was postponed and postponed, even though we lived in the neighborhood. I often went to church and asked for help, and surprisingly, as soon as I left the monastery, he always wrote me something good.

So we lasted 4 months, somewhere until September. I ended up in the hospital, where I spent 1.5 months. I had an operation. And then a young surgeon began to show me signs of attention. I even forgot about my love, deleted A. from everywhere from social networks and openly wrote on Vkontakte that I love that surgeon. But closer to the discharge, something happened to me, and again I realized that I could not live without A. I decided that I should meet with him and dot the i's once and for all. There are two options: either be with him, or foreverforget and build your future differently.

We met. A week later, he introduced me to his parents and the whole family as his girlfriend. The dream of a stupid test-antibiotic.com girl has come true. A month later he confessed his love to me for the first time. He said that in 2.5 years of separation he realized that he only needed me.

Despite all this happiness, I, apparently, was already so psychologically broken that I was still afraid of deception and a dirty trick. And I also began to take revenge and take revenge on him for my pain and years of suffering, but he still patiently endured my antics. I was afraid that suddenly he would tell me again that he loved S., that he had not forgotten her.

In June 2012 we got married. At the moment we have a wonderful daughter. He is the besthusband in the world. He works, helps me around the house, loves me and talks about it all the time. He does not give any reasons for jealousy, he spends all his free time from work at home with us. Phone without passwords, and I even know all the passwords from his accounts in social networks, i.e. we are very open to each other. I don't doubt his love. He never spoke about S.

What is the problem? In me... test-antibiotic.com I'm paranoid. I constantly follow the life of his ex S., leaf through her photos, see what's new with her. She left two years agoI got married and I'm very happy about it. But she got divorced this summer, which makes me worry. Will she reappear in his life? What if, years later, she realizes that she loved my husband all the time, that it was at the will of her parents that they broke up, and that she is unhappy because of them? I just don't know what's next. I know that the problem is all in me. There is simply no one to tell me about it, so I decided to confess on this site.

I spoke with a friend, she kind of reassured me, but it didn't help for long. I even dream about her that my husband is cheating on me with her. As if she was there and came to destroy everything. Sometimes it feels like I'm going crazy. After all, they say that the first love is never forgotten. How many cases when after many years people again flare up feelings for each other.

We are all victims of circumstance. I don't consider her a bad person at test-antibiotic.com, as a person, I even like her. No one is to blame for the fact that they then fell in love with each other. But I'm afraid to lose everything I have. I'm sorry if all this seems stupid to you, but it was important for me to at least speak out.