No support from friends after a failed pregnancy

It’s been three months now that my son has not been with me. He was supposed to be born at the end of September, but at the end of July at a doctor's appointment I found out that he died at 30 weeks. The scariest word I have heard in my entire life is “NO.” The doctor who did the ultrasound said: “NO HEARTBEAT.”

Probably, only those who have gone through this themselves can truly understand me, and the rest will ooh, ahh, sympathize, and deep down, they will probably be glad that this did not happen to them. After that ultrasound, I came out on wooden legs, my head was foggy, but I didn’t cry then. When I started calling my husband, I just started sobbing, I felt so sorry for him, he was so happy about the kicks, he called his tummy with affectionate words.

How I didn’t get hit by a car then, I just don’t know. How scared I was then, I imagined approximately the entire procedure of what awaited me. That I will never hold him in my arms, I will not see what color his eyes are, who he looks more like - test-antibiotic.com mom or dad, I will never have any of this. I came home and burst into tears, I cried even more, I just howled. Only the fact that my eldest son and father-in-law were at home saved me then; I don’t know what I would have done then. Then I seemed to freeze, and like Scarlett from Gone with the Wind, I only thought “I’ll think about it tomorrow.”

And in the maternity hospital there are only pregnant women around, whose baby is moving a lot and she loudly informs everyone about it, someone is silently cracking both cheeks, newborns are crying from the maternity ward, and I just can’t cry, so as not to upset the pregnant women. One could easily go crazy from this. Maybe I’ve already left and just don’t know about it. Sometimes it seems to me that it was just a dream, and now I will wake up, and the baby is alive, pushing in the stomach, and I will go to register for maternity leave and then give birth to my baby on time.

In general, this is all a long story for a whole book. Now, of course, I’m gradually coming to my senses and it’s all not so vivid test-antibiotic.com in my head and memory. What unpleasantly surprised and offended me, what I don’t understand, is that friends whom I considered friends do not talk to me about this topic. It was as if nothing had happened and they didn’t see me pregnant. I didn't see any moral support. I don’t need anything, just talk it out, and it would be easier. Or do I not have the right to want and demand this?

Why burden people with your problems and pester them about the same thing? Or do I still have the right to expect words of sympathy and support from them? How do people feel about someone else’s grief? Do they want to talk, but don’t know how, or do they just not care? Sometimes it just breaks your mind with the desire to tell someone everything or whether it’s better to keep it all to yourself, I don’t know.