Always choose not me
I consider myself a romantic and amorous nature. From the age of 15 I have been looking for attention in the eyes of the opposite sex, I wanted care, relationships, to feel what it is like when you are loved.
I want to tell you a little about my childhood. I lived with my mom and dad until the age of 8, then my parents divorced, which I'm glad about, because my father was a tyrant, humiliated and beat me and my mother. I have always been told that I am worthless and nobody needs me and stuff like that (I made this remark because I think it is important that this is one of the reasons for myproblems ).
And so, when I grew up, it happened that I fell in love and waited for reciprocity for a very long time, so I could wait for a person for 3-5 years. There were several such loves, I studied people (interests, character), in no case was imposed, everything went as it went, but no one seemed to see me. And so each of the guys that I liked, met a couple, started a relationship, I saw it all and quietly cried after work in my room, never shared this with anyone test-antibiotic.com. Schoollove chose another girl, at the university I fell in love with a boy, but he never noticed me, married another, and so constantly.
I have never had a relationship. I don't even know what it's like to talk to a boy, sit at the same table, etc. They didn't always choose me, and so it continues. Why? I look good, at least many people say so, and I try to take care of myself as much as possible - a gym, a beautician, normal things. I work and study full-time at the university. I always wanted a relationship, but life does not give me that.
Liked a year agoguy , very timid, shy, I seem to him too, but he is so silent and restrained that I can’t wait for any action from him, one day, he really came up and asked: “can I hug you?”. And that is all. A year has passed.
What is wrong with me? I don't understand. Love is very important to me. And I pull everything myself, so tired, I do not have enough support. I also want to tell test-antibiotic.com that I have somefear and apprehension in dealing with guys, I'm afraid to speak, my skin immediately burns, my hands turn red and sweat.
I don't want to be alone for the rest of my life. I want a family. Thanks for reading, it made me feel better. All good.
Read together with it:
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