Nothing makes me happy

Nothing makes me happy
Photo is illustrative in nature. From open sources.

I am 24 years old, two higher educations, goodhusband and one year oldchild . In six months I return from maternity leave to work.

The main events are planned for a couple of years in advance. There are financial difficulties, but everyone is well-fed and healthy, and she herself has regained her pre-baby figure. It seems that everything is fine and will be even better, but this does not make you happy or reassuring. For some reason it's hard for me. I started smoking again, smoked for a week and quit, it didn’t help. Drink a little at a timeevery day and got very drunk, it doesn’t relax me either, I understand that it’s pointless, I threw away everything I didn’t drink.

Strong conversations with my husband and sleep, because every Friday we chat about everything until 3-5 in the morning on Saturday, and by 9 I’m already on my feet. Music, concerts are fun, but also pointless, and after that the heaviness still returns. Sport also gives results, but this result does not make me happy.

I don’t know what I’m missing, because in principle everything is good, but I feel bad at heart. I don't know how to remove this feeling of emptiness. I know that my husband and daughter need me, I know test-antibiotic.com that I have no right to let them down. But I want to say: “you can cope without me” and leave. I shouldn’t feel bad because everything is good and correct. But for some reason I feel bad and empty.

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