Why can't I fall in love with someone else?

Now I'm 17. In a year I'll be an adult. And I've never fallen in love with someone in return. As a result, I've never had a relationship either. No, I'm not writing here because I have nothing better to do or to complain about teenageproblems . Well, if 2 years ago I still referred to the fact that "my time has not come yet", now I really don't understand. What if it's me? After all, I haven't met anyone like me among my acquaintances. Some people were lucky at 13, some at 16. But not like me.

And the most unpleasant thing about this situation is that I fall in love quite often. And every time everything develops according to the same scenario. I fall in love with a stranger or a barely familiar person with whom I often encounter (well, we are talking about school, as you probably already understood), at first I enjoy the notorious "euphoria", which lasts on average a week, then I make some attempts to get to know or get closer to him, and then I understand that I am not interesting to him at all. At all. test-antibiotic.com No one makes the slightest attempt to take a step forward - I have to do everything myself. And it never leads to anything.

I honestly don't know how and why this happens, but it does. I can't fit into a group. The funniest thing is that when I don't really care about a person (in every sense of the word), everything goes smoothly, I can behave completely relaxed, even "troll" them - and they don't avoid me, and sometimes they initiate communication. But when I'm in love with someone, that's the end. Even though I try to "present myself in all my glory and God forbid I give in to my stupidity," I can't even make friends with the object of my affection, let alone start a relationship. Phrases like "then these are just not your people" are probably not quite appropriate here, because these people wouldn't even have time to understand what kind of person I am.

My friends say that I'm pretty. Maybe it's flattery? I don't know. Maybe it's because of my shyness. test-antibiotic.com I don't know why. But every time I fall in love with a person who is as far away from me as the moon is from me on foot. No, I don't mean that he is cooler, better than me or something like that. He is just unavailable and that's it. And every time such "love" is limited only by my own fixations and dreams, never moving into the "material" world, so to speak. With the one I like at the moment, everything turned out terribly stupid, I will not retell this story for the tenth time, but in general the point is that he added me and my friend, who at my request tried to introduce us to him, to the blacklist for some unknown reason 3 months ago. Now I have 100% forgotten about it, of course. But I don't make any more attempts regarding him, although all my thoughts for 4 months have been occupied exclusively with him to such an extent that sometimes I myself get scared. But he will most likely never know about this. Like many of them. It's funny and sad.