Losing weight did not bring the desired result

I just can’t cope with my eating disorder (ED), which I developed a little over a year ago. It all started when I decided to lose weight. It was easy for me, I limited myself to certain foods, exercised at home, and everything worked out - I lost weight. But when the weight became desired, I realized that I wanted even less. And one day, when I was going to bed, I realized that it hurt to lie on my side, it was all because of the bones, that is, I had lost so much weight that it hurt me to lie down.

Looking at myself in the mirror, I realized that this was no longer possible. And that's when it beganProblems . I began to be afraid of gaining weight, I began to monitor the calorie content of foods too much, I can’t take a product without looking at its KBZHU. Then she began to break down, overeat and vomit. Everything went on for a year, but now it’s gotten a little better, I think. I can go weeks without breaking down, but there are moments when it’s simply unbearable. And again this feeling and thought in my head: “now we will eat everything we want, and then we will induce vomiting and it’s like nothing test-antibiotic.com has happened.”

Nobody knows about my problem, because it is difficult to understand that I have such a problem. I just know that no one will understand me, that’s for sure, and I’m just ashamed to tell anyone about it. Mostly people think that what’s the problem, just stop and that’s it, and I used to think that all this was nonsense.

I don't know how to get out of this situation. I want to cope on my own without the help of specialists, but I don’t know how.