I don't know what to do with the university

I don't know how to deal with my university studies. At the moment I am 18 years old, and the whole story began when I was 17 and I entered the university. After graduating from school, I was in a state of apathy and indifference, so it somehow didn’t matter to me where I would go, my main goal was to please my relatives with the fact that I entered the budget.

I chose medicine because My friend also applied there, and pedagogy on the advice of her mother. The whole summer passed in terrible stress, I was afraid that I would not enter, that I would turn out to be stupid and unworthy of studying at a university. When in August I went to balls at two institutes at once, I was indifferent, and on the advice of my relatives, I also brought the original documents to the Pedagogical University, where I entered the biologist.

We arrived in another city with a friend to a rented apartment, which was paid in half. The first of September went terribly for me. I got sick on my first day at university. Therefore, I went home for treatment, during which time my friend managed to leave test-antibiotic.com for another city for personal reasons.

Arriving back after an illness at the institute, I studied there for one day and fell ill again, so I went home again. I was ill for another 2 weeks, during which I realized that I did not have the strength to study there - neither moral nor physical, so I decided to switch to distance learning.

Because I am a terrible social phobe, it is insanely difficult and scary for me to talk to people, so I asked my grandmother to call the curator and ask about the transfer. The curator said that it was impossible, so I decided to leave the university, but since I didn’t find the strength to pick up the documents now, I decided that while distance learning began, I would study, but I would leave when it was over. Distance learning lasted a month, somehow I did the tasks, which was extremely difficult for me, because in addition to reluctance, my head ached insanely and my blood pressure dropped. Most likely, my condition worsened after the illness, because. Before that, I had poor immunity and soreness, and after that the condition worsened.

When the headman wrote to me that I needed to go to test-antibiotic.com to study, I answered her that I would be expelled. My grandmother said the same to the curator, but somehow they transferred me to the second year and they don’t want to give the documents.

I am very scared that I will not be able to socialize and catch up with the others. I would like to ask for the second time to transfer me to part-time education, because. I tried to pick up the documents and even said that I would change my specialty to a veterinarian, to which I heard that this was not a female profession and I would not find a job anywhere. When the curator, dean and deputy dean told me this, I burst into tears from such pressure, because. I’m very afraid of unnecessary attention and I can’t say a word from a sticky feeling of fear.

When I arrived home, I burst into tears even more from a sense of hopelessness and my own insignificance. And I don’t even have anyone to talk about it with and ask for advice, only my grandmother, who says to try to study full-time in the second year. But that thought alone makes me shudder.

My parents abandoned me at the age of 7. Father does not communicatemy mother sometimes points test-antibiotic.com to me about my insignificance and makes me thank her for my birth, although she never provided for me and never raised me. I'm insanely difficult and anxious and I don't know what to do.