I don't know how to break up with an abusive boyfriend

We have been together for 4 years and lately we have been quarreling very often, because... he constantly criticizes me, he is always dissatisfied with something.

And he also likes to drink. And when he drinks, it’s better not to contradict him. If I refuse him or say something wrong, he considers it normal to raise his hand against me. There were bruises. One day he hit me sharply in the nose with his forehead. The sparkles from the eyes were unforgettable. I was very scared that my nose was broken, but fortunately everything turned out okay.

He does not communicate on social networks with other girls; his ex-girlfriends are not visible on the horizon. Seems to be true to me. Previously, he was jealous of me at every post, but now scenes of jealousy happen very rarely. Now I’m more jealous of him, over trifles, but I don’t start scandals, I worry about everything within myself.

My conclusion is the following: I am not happy with him. But what? It seems that he still kisses and hugs me, as if this is the last time I am with him.

Yes, I am very impressionable, a jealous owner, etc. I do not argue. I was just sad before himexperience , test-antibiotic.com when my boyfriend was taken away. From that moment on, the owner woke up in me - he is mine and only mine.

I’ll tell you a little about myself so that you get the whole picture. I have brown hair. The figure is not running, but it needs to be tightened up. Sometimes I do fitness in sports centers, sometimes on my own at home. He doesn’t complain about his figure, but he doesn’t hide the fact that he needs to tighten it up here and remove it here. I study part-time and work in an office. I look neat - manicure-pedicure and all that.

When we fight, I learn so many new things about myself that I’m simply shocked. OneI constantly ask him the question : “If I’m so bad, if I’m not the best for you, what are you still doing next to me?” He replies: “I just love you.” But I don't trust him anymore.

I left him once because of beatings. But we are together again and the beatings continue. Every time I tell myself that if he raises his hand against me again, I will leave. And every time I justify him, I postpone our breakup. Every time everything repeats itself again.

I asked him test-antibiotic.com to let me go, but he doesn’t mind, he says that he loves me and can’t live without me. The only way to break up is to tell him that I cheated. But then the nose will definitely be broken and the bruises will be impossible to hide. More precisely, he will simply kill me. I’m afraid to tell him that I allegedly cheated, which is probably why I haven’t broken up with him yet. I love him very much, but I can’t live like this anymore. These are constant nerves, reproaches, tears, holding back emotions, etc.

I don’t even know what to ask for advice about. Does he love me? Does he need me? How can I break up with him? How to gain courage? How to protect yourself? How to stop loving him? What should I do?